Tim Baker

Tim Says: It is amazing that something so smooth could band so fucking hard. I love the beat, Redman Redman-ing is always better than anything else happening, R.e.a.d.y. Roc kinda kills shit and Meth, well Meth is making hay doing what Meth does it's all flow and voice bro.

Joel Says: If there was a place and time to execute shoulder shimmies like I just experienced that was socially acceptable, I would've already perfected such moves. Therefore, I have decided to hit play in my brain whenever I feel like shoulder shimmying, and I shall use this song as the basis for my shoulder shimmying bros.

Welcome back to DOOD COMPUTER's Sweet 16, our biweekly installment of rappers rapping over DOOD COMPUTER beats which are then turned into a video for SYFFAL. This is the 4th installment of this awesome project week launched with Pig Food Records and instead of trying to have something cleaver to say about each of the past installments (because I'm really not that clever bro), I am just going to list them. You should then click on them and enjoy them for the first time (or like it's the first time if it's not your first time you sluts.)

Masai
Ses Da Great
Koncept & J57

Episode 4 features DOOD’s partner in crime Dezmatic, who is not only one of the best rappers working today, he is also shaped like a keg, a keg of locally made craft beer that has a hint of pumpkin flavor and a the sharp after taste of Dial soap.

He absolutely kills this shit.

We sat down with Dezmatic to discuss all sorts of things at least until he offended my tastes by speaking ill of the 2004 Boston Red Sox. Who the Fuck does he think he is?

SYFFAL: So is your goal when writing raps to make me feel bad about my abilities or is that just an added perk?

Dezmatic: I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I only want good things for you, Timothy.

SYFFAL: You are the only person on the planet allowed to call me Timothy. That beat is hella jazzy bro. What about it spoke to you and said "Hey Dez why don’t you throw your rap dick in my juicy beat vag?"

Dezmatic: Lotta angry tough guy rap comes outta Albany. Figured I'd sexify something more velvety and Buckshot LeFonqueish for once. For you, Timothy.

SYFFAL: Wow a Buckshot LeFonque reference, Branford Marsalis just collected royalties’ bro. You claim that no team could Fuck with you and Mitch, well here is a list of teams I think can, tell me why they could not:

The 92 Bulls

Dezmatic: Yeahyouright. John Paxson's gangster is ruthless.

SYFFAL: The 86 Bears

Dezmatic: You mean the '85 Bears? The '86 Bears were dog shit. McMahon showed up to training camp 25 pounds overweight and Packers' Charles Martin separated his shoulder in week 12. Or did you mean the '86 Giants? Unfukwittable.

SYFFAL: Where do you get the stones to talk to me like that bro? Team Jacob

Dezmatic: Ed Cullen bro. DOY.

SYFFAL: Is it because you are both waifish and pale? Ok. Team America

Dezmatic: Puppets? Really Tim? You're really reaching now.

SYFFAL: Hickory High

Dezmatic: Your obscure references have no effect on me, Timothy. Next.

SYFFAL: Hoosiers bro, it’s the team from fucking Hoosiers. Show some fucking respect. The Chicos Bail Bonds Bears

Dezmatic: Tatum O'Neal's bitch made. Kelly Leak aka Rorschach aka Dukes (Jackie Earle Hailey) may pose a threat but the rest of them kids was all soft as hell. Matthau rest in peace. Still tho, we good there too.

SYFFAL: Tanner is a beast bro. A fucking BEAST! And possibly a racist. Finally the 2004 Boston Red Sox.

Dezmatic: That had more to do with luck and some magical voodoo witchcraft about a candy bar than anything, both of which Mitch's beard could overpower no prob. We still good.

SYFFAL: HOW DARE YOU! Is it just me or do you keep getting cuter?

Dezmatic: It's just you. Oh yeah, wifey has an issue with those late night sexts, Timothy.

SYFFAL: Enough with the Timothy shit bro. I am not wearing pants and it is starting to get weird….OK? You wasted a lot of food in this video, how do you explain yourself to them Sally Struthers kids?

Dezmatic: It was just cauliflower bro. Rotten cauliflower. So back up with all that left wing we are the world public works liberal shit, hippie.

SYFFAL: Just because I only shop at Whole Foods and listen to rap from the Pacific Northwest made by sampling Rain Sticks and the wails of indigenous populations it doesn’t mean I am some sort of hippie bro. Promote anything you want here.

Dezmatic: WWW.PIGFOODRECORDS.COM ALL DAY EVERY DAY

GIANT GORILLA DOG THING "HORSE" is coming soon, idiots.

SYFFAL: You are adorable bro.