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Joel Frieders

Avindale - Azure

I hit play and walked away and only returned to the computer to hit play again and walk away again. "Azure" is pretty, but then creepy, but then it's pretty creepy in a way I can only describe as being creepy, but pretty. Right?

Avindale sort of confuse me because they sound, at first listen, like a cross between Band of Horses and a tropicali band I once saw at a beachfront bar in Manhattan Beach, CA. It's bouncy and bright, yes, but the haunting breeze creepin' through this muthafucker is almost like walking in on a human sacrifice. 

I can't nail it down specifically, but it's like looking at a pretty painting and tilting your head in adorable adoration, but then a month or two after you've purchased said painting a friend you're kind of afraid of informs you that it was painted by a serial killer in the blood mixed with the fluid from one of his victims' pancreaseseses. 

HOW'S THAT MAKE YA FEEL BRAH?

Wanna stalk this band before they move in?

Avindale Facebook
Avindale Twitter
Avindale Soundcloud

Escape to New York - Growing Pains

Who the Fuck is this band? I WANT THEM TO PLAY ALL DAY WHILE I WORK IN SLOW MOTION ON MEANIAL HOUSEHOLD TASKS.

But who is this little kid in the video? DUDE IS FEARLESS.

I normally pass on music video watching, as I'm a music or lose it sort of fella, but I somehow managed to sit staring with my hand on my chin wearing a happy grin for the entire fucking video. I'm happs as Fuck right now.

Escape to New York sound like they have the musical patience to melt my panties off, collect the meltings and then schmelt the genitals of a non-believer on the day of the red moon.

I plan on bothering this band to play my Tuesday for the rest of the quarter.

Escape to New York Facebook.
Escape to New York Twitter.
Escape to New York Soundcloud.
Escape to New York Bandcamp.

Lunisolar - Opener

Anyone else sitting there on the edge of the seat waiting for something to drop? COME ONNNNNNN, THIS IS SO BALLS, BUT GOES ABSOLUTELY NO FAGCKIN WHERE!

Wait.

This was intentional. This was meant to make us want to hear when the rest of the band actually comes in.

This was meant to whet our collective whistles. 

Ok, fine, my whistle is whet. This is fucking phenomenal. It almost sounds like that intro track on the new Warpaint album, but with direction and immediacy. Fuck.

I better prepare to stalk this band before I hear their EP huh?

Lunisolar Facebook.
Lunisolar Soundcloud.
Lunisolar Twitter.

SYFFAL PREMIERE VIDEO: Minka - Jackson Pollack

If there's three things I love, it's many many swanky sass paintcakes splattered all up on the walls of a stuffy museum, and/or a deliciously subservient set of manface hairs in a tuxedo bro. 

Thankfully all of these things, and more, are smooshed all over the SYFFAL PREMIERE OF MINKA'S "JACKSON POLLACK".

Whatever you've read about this band is incorrect. They are NOT signed to Eminem's rap label. They are NOT sponsored by Kia OR Hyundai (yet). They are NOT all 100% vegan. And most importantly, they are NOT not like how they seem in this video, all the time.

Holy fucking urban swank bro.

No matter what they type out for me to read, I ignore it. These Minka fools just scream fucking fashion show, but thankfully they're screaming it in Russian, so I can only assume they are complimenting me on my thrift store dandies and not inquiring as to why I'm rocking junior high gym shorts as a 34 year old male bro.

I encourage you to remember the feel of Minka, as your late nights that turn into early mornings are going to need a soundtrack, and Minka is just the delicious taste turned sour to linger in your mouth hole while you sober up at your dead end job.

Seriously, you can't help but walk an invisible catwalk to this shit, and if you can't walk the invisible catwalk to this shit, you're obviously resisting too much and you'd be wise to let your hair down and consider going commando a few times this summer. #jorts

STALK THEM WITH US SHALLS YOUS?

Minka Facebook
Minka Twitter
Minkastagram
Minka Soundcloud

Kejnu - Centillion

Kejnu holds a special place in the syffal sternum bros. They were one of the first bands as a syffaler that I contacted and said “You don’t know who I am, but I found your music, and I want to tell you it is fucking amazing and I want to thank you for existing”, which then led to an album review, an interview, but then an awkwardly awesome friendship that's been stretching thousands of miles was erected, and it's still quite erect.

These fuckers live in some bork country in the middle of borkistan, sure, but to them I live in the middle of the great devil on the corner of standard american diet and big pharma, right down the street from entitlement high school and honey boo boo...

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