Videos

Looks like we accidentally world premiered a video when I didn't know it was a world premiere because I was just too fucking excited to post it to not realize it was a world premiere.  DOES THAT MAKE ME LOOK FAT? WHO CARES! You should all become huge fans of this asshole immediately because there's talent dripping out of every urethra this dude owns.  AND THE VIDEO? Dude. This video looks exactly how my brain's video looks when my brain plays the video while I'm listening to the song in the video. ARE YOU CONFUSED? Don't be. You're supposed to be relaxed bro, start the video over, and then go below and click the link for the review of Amina's Cannibalize EP and then go buy that shit. 

Fuck this band. Sure, they swoon me, make me sway, they commonly stop by my house to use the restroom (I call it a water closet), and they'll never hold full time jobs that involve timecards, but I'm telling you, they're all assholes. How do I know that Phox is full of assholes? Phox is so full of assholes they once rented an RV for a tour and they returned it with BOTH the gas tank full AND the floors vacuumed! I mean, what the fuck is the point of being a rock band if you can't leave some crumbs or skip out on some gas action once in a while? STOP BEING SO FINANCIALLY AND SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE! Phox is so full of assholes they commonly refer to each other as "friend" because if they aren't looking at each other when the other is talking, all of their voices sound like Monica's. They're...

The first instinct I had when I heard this song was to share it with Del because City Calm Down sound like the perfect combination of Future Islands and The National. AND I KNOW Del would want to be the Salami in that sammich of chest hair.  First off, the singer's voice emasculates me because it's hauntingly booming and DEEP. The drums are heavy on the kick, slowly intensifying, until your heart pounding - that instinctively syncs to the beat - is visibly moving your chest. AND THEN there is that synth that gives a sensually subtle 80's vibe.  This shit is velcro wallets for the billz and Kangaroo pockets for the change.  All I know about City Calm Down is that they are from Australia....by no surprise. Why does everything good with the indie-electornica steeze come from Australia these...

This band is fucking amazing. It's all pretty and flowering, and then the distortion hits and WAIT, HOW DID IT JUST GET MORE BEAUTIFUL AND FLOWERFULZ BRO?!?!?! Loraine have post rock by the short and fucking curlies, that's how it got more flowerzy bro.  When your music can take a depressing ass day and make it gorgeous, your band is fucking aweosme. When your music can take an awesome day and make it even more awesome, your band is fucking awesome. Loraine? Your band is fucking awesome. If "Qualm" doesn't tickle your pickle and cause a few hairs to stand on end, you're living life wrong and I don't want to discuss it with you, I just want you to leave my teepee and then leave me a 5 star review on Amazon. For the record, I have yet to listen to this song with my eyes open, so...

Sammy Warm Hands, self-admittedly, has the worst name in rap. I might argue that DJ Snowy Boo Boo, name-dropped by Open Mike Eagle on Dark Comedy, might give SWH a run for his Monet!  Luckily this questionable choice in monikers, translates NOT to the quality of raps. Nor visuals!  Sammy's song, "Vacant Eyes" was remixed by Seattle's rap deity Graves 33 and Sir Graves also directed the song's new psychedelic video. The video finds Sammy Warm Hands, in his trademark Wolverine meets Manic Pixie Dream Girl meets electrical socket get down, rapping his raps over the video equivalent of an Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.  For real though, It makes me happy when artists we've covered go on to get shine from all over the world, and Sammy premiered his video with the good people over at UGSMAG. And...

This video could be of a fucking static shot of my feet in a bucket of milk and it would still be the best video I've felt all day. Pinstripe Pigeon Band hit me right in the balls of my balls with "It's You", and as I mentioned in my review of their new EP, it's the song I'm most obsessed with this summer. This hits me like RAC's "Let Go" hit me whenever the hell that hit me in the recent past, but this fucking song dude? I want this song to play while I'm shaving. While I'm showering. While I'm driving to work. While I'm at work. While I'm eating lunch at work. While I'm leaving work and driving home. And then when I'm home, the kids are asleep, and I'm about to go sit on my patio and stare at the little edison bulbs I strung up for songs just like this. This song, is fucking...

Oh SHICK RAZOR BLADES this makes me want to take off all my clothes, run into Bed, Bath and Beyond and climb up those huge towers of soft ass bathtowels and just shimmy my sweaty balls all over fucking EVERYTHING. Jesus balls on a baby blue buick with a bumper sticker that reads "will massturbate for bass", I want this to play all day as I walk slo-mo straight into the fucking weekend ahead. Whoever the Fuck Wolffe is, I feel aroused like I haven't felt aroused all week. This shit sounds like Amy Winehouse got ahold of a Lorde track and went to fucking TOWN it's so perfect. Someone find this band and make them let me stalk them so we can just get it over with because I'm full mast over here and people are starting to stare.

Los Angeles's rap super duo, and certified Blowedians, Acid Reign, and Japanese MC and spitfire god, Gebo, have teamed up with LA producer/rapper/taco-enthusiast EQ to give us a video for "Raw Suey" off of the collaborative and stank-nasty... n-n-n-n-nasty record, Losaka.  "Raw Suey" is the type of song where the number of syllables being spitteded is greater than the number of people who actually like this kind of rap music. Luckily, as usual, with the exception of my skin color, I am in the minority here. I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHIT! That constant twitchy side-to-side nod like you just started to not be able to feel your gums. That wiggly hand thing everybody does when Gajah chops can now be applied to Gebo's staccato machine gun bullets. EQ's verse at 1:55… Ole!!! That face Beond...

I have a whole steaming pile of shit that I'm supposed to be working on. (Read: ignoring while I play WiiU with my son.) But like a fucking Fast Pass at Disneyland, some peoples just skip to the front of the line. Mix the fact that I can't believe I haven't previously written about Mr. Jenkins, out of Chicago, because I've been bumping his stellar ep, The Water[s] for a couple months now, every where I go. Trader Joe's parking lot party FO REALS! I'm also geeked for Mick Jenkin's next EP, The Wave[s], out 8/21. Lastly I'm headed to Portland, Oregon in September to sleep on homie's couches, and drink homie's whiskey, and go see a couple of shows including Mick Jenkins. Basically I'm flying over 800 miles to see a dude rap. Judge me. I don't care. Just play this video and...

Fucking Despot! The one time Definitive Jux artist, often collaborator with El-P has dropped his FIRST fucking VIDEO for the chest-thumping track, House Of Bricks, produced by Ratatat. I can tell you, for as long as I've been purchasing Def Jux memorabilia-like the time I scored El-P's used boxer briefs on Ebay super last minute style-I have been waiting for Despot to drop an album, and this super rad vid dealz is apparently pushing him closer to its release. The guy is a New York Nate Dogg in that he guest appears on a grip of fucking albums from everyone in all walks of NY rap. He won't be pinned down as just an indie dude, or a "street" dude, or THE DUDE. (I mean nihalists, right?) He's known for being that dude who will RAP his ginger-headed balls off and make you question...