THE REBEL SCUMBAGS

I LOVE YOU (I KNOW)

Joel Frieders | December 15, 2015

I'm already witnessing the Star Wars hate I knew was coming. I know you think the market is oversaturated with cheap Star Wars shit. I know you think it's annoying. 

But I don't.

The last 50 big movie pushes haven't included me in anything. I mean, I didn't care for Minions, as I prefer my animated characters to have a FUCKING SOUL, but once in a while I want to, as an adult, buy cereal ONLY because my motherfucker Yoda is all up on the box. I don't buy navel oranges, but if they had a fucking X-Wing fighter on the bitch? NARANJA CLOUD CITY BRUH! I completely admit to being just another mindless consumer, but dude, I love Star Wars.

All the commercials are aimed at my demographic and I am completely okay with it. Fuck me right?

ENTER THE REBEL SCUMBAGS. Are they fucking a gimmick in the puckered asshole of society? YES.

But is it awesome? YES.

Guitar solo is the fucking business. The Beastie Boys breakdown is the fucking business. AND IS DUDE PLAYING AN AIR GUITAR LIGHT SABER?

FUCK ME FIVE TIMES IN FIVE PARSECS I LOVE THIS SHIT.