Welcome back to Trending Topics, our weekly recap of all things stupid, this week we discuss Tiger Woods, Star Wars 1313, Stealth Destroyer, Olivia Culpo and more.
As always we are joined by noted celebritologist and Ninja Tunes recording artist Blockhead.
You can order his new album Interludes After Midnight, here.
I love how irrational white people are about Tiger Woods since he got caught out there. They feel so betrayed and hurt that this person they don't know would let them down. It must be really hard to be a white guy with nothing better to do than lay on the couch and watch golf. They really are our most innocent victims.
Man, I remember when I'd switch the channel every time EPSN started talking about golf. It's just like old times again. Except I'm on the internet so there's more typing involved in my complete disinterest in all things golf related.
Apparently people are still excited about Star Wars shit, I guess I will buy anything these days, I mean people like Game of Thrones and that show sucks.
Star Wars nerds are like abused wives. No matter how much shit they eat, they keep coming back at the slightest hint of anything new. I bet Star Wars tells them how much he loves theme very night, right after he smacks them across the face with a Jar Jar Binks doll.
The Navy has created a stealth destroyer to deal with a "Rising China". Little known fact, Rising China is the name of my wiener.
Stealth destroyer sounds like a heavy metal band. However, you add a "Yung" to the front and you got the newest rap hero Yung Stealth Detroyah.
We have Maxim, Me In My Place and unlimited porn - really people still give a Fuck about Miss USA?
She's hot…but Rhode Island winning any beauty contest is kinda like Florida winning a "Miss Congeniality" award.
Bill is now a minority owner of the Mets. Minority huh? Typical left wing media bias we have come to expect from Bill and his Jewish friends.
Maher looks like a Mets fan. I'm not even mad. Maybe he'll ban prayer in the clubhouse and shake shit up for everyone.
Johnny Depp won some lifetime award at the MTV movie awards which I imagine is the award show equivalent of herpes.
Johnny Depp is the only 50 year old who dresses like a homeless Charlie Chaplin/Aerosmith roadie who I'm pretty certain could Fuck every girl I know. Props?
Oh hey, Willie has a new song about weed. Can we just legalize this shit already so I can stop hearing about how excited grown ups are about doing something on par with eating too much sugar.
Hey, guess what? Willie Likes weed. It's amazing he hasn't done a Cypress Hill collabo yet.
Rondo called out the Heat for being pussies. I wish he called out Dwayne Wade for having the perma Johnnie-after-he-saw-Daniel-san-on-a-date-with-his-girlfriend-in-Karate-Kid face. The perfect mix of gonna cry, gotta shit and just got punched in the nuts.
I love Rondo. He's the only likable Celtic and, even better, he looks like one of those Easter Island stone statues.
They're back and in related who gives a Fuck news...
As much bad TV as I endure, I draw the line with these housewives shows. I wouldn't care but there are like 14 of them and I'm really not curious about the real housewives of the Ozarks.
HEY AMERICA GROW THE Fuck UP ALREADY!
Jesus Christ. Just let these gay people get married and shut the Fuck up about it. how is this still a thing? If it were up to me, we'd ban all marriage and I think a lot of people would be happier than they are now.