Music is supposed to make you feel something.
Whether it's as erect and girthy as a freshly treated telephone pole, or as sympathetic as a Democrat in a "HOLY shit TAKE THIS FREE GOVERNMENT MONEY!" celebration such as 2012, music should touch you somewhere.
Whether it's near the aforementioned vestibule of girth, or gently upon your shoulder as an elderly mentor would in reassurance that it's okay, it happens to everybody, the secret is to jerk off before you leave the house, music should inspire you.
Whether it's to take out the trash and spy on the neighbor lady with the embroidered cherries on her taut yoga pant-clad hindquarters who's always pruning those fucking hostas, or for you to plant more potatos this season for this winter's potato launching festival the white people call "Christmas", music is necessary.
I'm often surprised by how important the music I listen to is to my attitude and approach to stress. If I'm bumping instrumental hip hop, I'm probably pretty chill and not really thinking about anything. If I'm listening to electronica, I've lost a bet. If I'm back into post-rock shit, I'm probably either stressed the Fuck out and trying to turn the brain off, or I'm fucking inspired by the way my life's panning out and I'm feeling fucking righteous bro bro.
SYFFAL received a submission from the instrumental post rock band This Patch of Sky from Eugene, Oregon a few weeks ago. They included the link to their EP Newly Risen, How Brightly You Shine, and despite having an awesome name that seems difficult to live up to, they've not only lived up to it like a muthafucker, they've given me a few of those 'thinking to yourself that life is fucking awesome and you should really cut back on the dairy products' moments.
Epically atmospheric and inspiring like a fast motion wide angle video camera shot of a insanely green field laid before a sky as blue and gorgeous as the thought of the most perfect pussy you can imagine, This Patch of Sky are driving a maroon van and giving out free motherfucking candy yo.
The opening track A Light In The Attic eases into that moment where you're just happy to be alive, and having given it further thought, yes, cutting back on the dairy might be a good thing. It's got the higher pitched introspective calm of a current Sigur Ros, but then that moment where you're sure you'd fucking run down that hill with your sword drawn, if it weren't for all that dairy you ate before finding a fucking sword, like an And So I Watch You From Afar fucking If These Trees Could Talk in their fucking ass.
(IF YOU'RE CONFUSED, YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO MORE POST ROCK BITCH!)
There are more than a few breathtaking moments on Newly Risen, How Brightly You Shine, and I've done some pretty crazy things while listening to them. Just this past Tuesday I dispensed ice from my refrigerator ice machine AFTER the kids went to bed bro bro.
I mean, this shit REALLY makes a muthafucker walk THAT LINE BRO BRO!
This EP is perfect, and the band probably has a shitload of beard hair to read through when I type this, but seriously, cut back on the dairy.
Final word: After I manscape, I call my testicle region This Patch of Sky because it's so damn airy bro bro.