The Weekly Taint w/ Joel Frieders and Slug from Atmosphere - Where Caddies Go To Die

SYFFAL: I have this weird feeling that you're actually Irish. While you might claim the whole, American Indian and Middle Eastern sets, I think you're full of shit. I notice the bloody knuckles and red chest hairs (or as my friend Tim calls em "snacks"). Don't assume your fans aren't aware of your bullshitting them. I almost feel like the guy who was hanging out with the chick who was acting like a boy in Just One of the Guys with the really nice tits.
Please describe your breasts Sean. Please use the name "Tim Baker" somewhere in the breast sentence.

Slug: My terts taste like frosting. The ice dams are gone. Timmy Faye Baker. Wolf slippers. I feel pregnant. As important as these things are, only half of them are true.
I imagine you sometimes. We should Skype next time you have company over for dinner. Skin made of flannel.

SYFFAL: When duty calls, what is its ringtone? Who is duty and have you been friends for years?

Slug: Duty don't call no more. I wonder if the Creamette Company has a Twitter account. How many clients do you have now? It's been a while since my last beer. So long in fact that I forgot what point I was trying to prove in the first place.

SYFFAL: I liken myself to a beached narwhal when I'm full of chorizo after a delicious meal consisting of said chorizo. What is your favorite pork product? Have you ever worn said pork product?

Slug: I don't Fuck with the swine.

SYFFAL: When I listen to rap music, I get this strange strength (that I pronounce as strenf) where I can lift small automobiles, threaten large African bushmen, and call out professional athletes as being ninnies. If you had to pick an insult to use exclusively, what would you choose and would it be as manly as the term "ninny"?

Slug: I bet you use some type of face lotion that has a warning on the side suggesting that you call poison control if you eat it. Fuckouttahere. Float, float on.
 

SYFFAL: How often do you shop for toilet paper? Do you buy in bulk? What is your preferred brand? (THE FANS WANT TO KNOW SHAWN)

Slug: Some people think it's gross, but it's really great on toast.

SYFFAL: Are you a coupon clipper?

Slug: Not yet.

SYFFAL: My oldest son, who is 3, is currently in this recurring state of being a complete asshole in the morning and the evenings before bed. He's kind of shoving in my face, this acrid tasting asshole sandwich. What would you suggest as far as calming him down and lessening the asshole in such a young soul? I've tried super positivity and goofiness, being patient until he spits on my wife, and also duct tape, but I love the little asshole and don't want him to be damaged by sitting in time out for 4 hours out of the day. Any ideas dad?

Slug: Buy him a kitten, or a puppy, and then threaten to eat it. But you have to be convincing.

SYFFAL: We read that you have a new album coming out in April, would you mind sharing some gossip about the album here at syffal.com? Will the album liner notes give syffal.com a shout out? How much does it cost to earn that?

Slug: I tore my meniscus a few months ago. Then I got the surgery. As it was healing, Ghostface dropped a new CD.
On that CD, he references a torn meniscus.

SYFFAL: I'm not sure if I've told you lately, but you are really improving at the internet. Just a few months ago you were this elderly man of confused reference and maladjusted baud rates, now you're all DSL and CLOUD STORAGE. You're really quite the talent Sean. How did this life change come about? Have you been reading lifehacker.com?

Slug: Hey man, I remember you from the Glee auditions. No need to be defensive dude.

SYFFAL: What would our band name be if we were to take this little act on the road? I'm leaning towards Sean & Joel's Magical Mystery Tour or Saint Taint & The Simple Man's Rectum.

Slug: Where Caddy's Go To Die

SYFFAL: What's for dinner?

Slug: She Drives Me Crazy on cassette maxi-single, by FYC.