Welcome back to Trending Topics, our weekly recap of all things stupid, this week we discuss The Academy Awards, Oscars, The Artist, Billy Crystal, Meryl Streep and more.
As always we are joined by noted celebritologist and Ninja Tunes recording artist Blockhead.
I dont know what was worse, how boring the show was, Bradley Cooper's facial hair, Angelina Jolie trying to tempt America with her boney legs or the fact that a silent black and white film won the best picture in 2012.
I watched the whole fucking thing. I felt like I aged 50 years not because it was long but cause it was basically made for people who grew up during prohibition.
I haven't seen this film so I can't judge but with the amount of scenes with this guy bugging his eyes out it seems much more like a Mike Myers era SNL skit than an Academy Award winning movie.
While I'm sure it's a great movie, there is no fucking on earth I would ever sit through it. Musicals can blow me forever as is but add in it's a silent movie and it may as well be a gay porn starring my dad.
Someone needs to tell this menopausal son of a bitch that doing black face impressions just isn't cool anymore. Anyone who knows anything knows that you can only get away with making fun of Asians, Indians, Jews, Hispanics, gays and women these days.
If I'm the Oscars producers and trying to keep with the times, I might wanna consider not hiring a person who hasn't been funny since the 80's. How many Jewish themed jokes can one man make? The answer: A BILLION.
Again, I didn't see the Iron Lady because I like to be entertained when I shell out $13 for a ticket, that said I could have told you that this was going to happen. The only thing the Academy likes to do more than pat itself on its back for the past is give old people who wear make up and don British accents trophies.
I can't hate on Streep. That hoe can act. I will say this though, if I had a dollar for every time a girl told me how beautiful she was I'd be able to buy her Oscar off her.
I have no idea what it was but I thought I was going crazy. My guess is it was the Academy pumping us full of subliminal messages about how great going to the movies is, it was needed to counteract the desperate hard sell they had going all night. Let me save you the trouble Academy, I don't have people showing up late and asking me to move over so they can sit next to their dick head date when I watch a movie at home. Case fucking closed.
What the Fuck was that? I thought one of my neighbors was quietly playing Skrillex a few doors down or something.
The Help reminds me so much of The Blind Side which also won an Oscar for its dealings with the complexities of race relations, and by that I mean it too seems like a Hallmark Movie.
Is it racist that I thought Sherri Sheppard won an Oscar?
What is the Over/Under for when we can retroactively hand this award over to Clooney?
Fuck this silent hunchback. I don't care how animated your eyes are, if you don't speak in your acting role in 2012, it's some bullshit.
I have always been down for Christopher Plummer. I think this was probably the most exciting category, I had no idea who was going to win, I just knew it was going to be an old British guy or Nick Nolte.
Anytime an ancient person wins you gotta feel good for them. Plummer is like a walking dead character that speaks in a British accent. Good for him.
Say what you want about Woody Allen but at least he doesn't get caught up in the hype which is good for us because there is nothing grosser than old, liver spot covered gingers in HD.
To repeat something I tweeted during the event: Woody Allen has better things to do than accept an Oscar. Like Fuck his daughter/wife while he tunes his clarinet.
I really enjoyed this movie. It wasn't at all what I expected. Clooney was dope. The stoner kid was dope. The kids were dope, the story was not the quirk filled snark fest it was marketed as and it resulted in Dean Pelton from Community winning an Oscar. Fuck YES!
I saw this movie and knew nothing about it. I was expecting a quirky comedy and got a depressing movie about death and betrayal. It was good but, goddamn, muthafuckers need to fine tune how they promote movies.