If you listened to rap back in the day, especially if you also had a turd box Toyota Corolla with a stereo that cost double what the car was worth... chances are you have gone through a Miami Bass phase. I never had a sub in any of my cars but I still owned a DJ Magic Mike CD to bump in my friends cars. One of the first rap records I ever listened to was 2 Live Crew (with the volume on 1 and my ear pressed to the speaker so no adults/parents could hear it). Following in the great tradition of booty bass anthems is Death Jam.
This track P.P.P (pussy Poppin' Posse) is the soundtrack to doing meth and eating homeless dudes faces. The first time I heard this shit I instantly pulled money out of my pocket and made it rain all over the house. Oh I popped my pussy bro. I popped it fully and completely.
This song could easily replace the Star Spangled Banner as the new national anthem. When they talk about the FLOTUS poppin' that pussy and then there is an eagle with an American flag backdrop? Bro! So don't just sit here and read this shit. Go pop that pussy. Pop that pussy for the first lady, pop that pussy for America, and pop that pussy...for freedom.
Nothing says "Youth in Peril" the way hazardous environments, bandannas, Two-Buck Chuck, rampant marijuana consumption, and...bubbles do. " I DON'T GIVE A Fuck HOW I SPILL IT..." A laconic and lethargic steezo is typically harmful, but MATIC embraces the latter of those aesthetic attributes without ruining his slow-mo spits. Though he only reps Seattle once the whole video embraces his locale's dreariness.
GET BUSY Y'ALL: http://maticxhr.bandcamp.com/
San Jose's terrifying triumvirate The UN deliver a set of smooth optics for the appropriately titled funk locomotive.
Fuck with their album on that "HEAVY FLOW".
Welcome back to DOOD COMPUTER's Sweet 16, our biweekly installment of rappers rapping over DOOD COMPUTER beats which are then turned into a video for SYFFAL. This is the 4th installment of this awesome project week launched with Pig Food Records and instead of trying to have something cleaver to say about each of the past installments (because I'm really not that clever bro), I am just going to list them. You should then click on them and enjoy them for the first time (or like it's the first time if it's not your first time you sluts.)
Episode 4 features DOOD’s partner in crime Dezmatic, who is not only one of the best rappers working today, he is also shaped like a keg, a keg of locally made craft beer that has a hint of pumpkin flavor and a the sharp after taste of Dial soap.
He absolutely kills this shit.
We sat down with Dezmatic to discuss all sorts of things at least until he offended my tastes by speaking ill of the 2004 Boston Red Sox. Who the Fuck does he think he is?
SYFFAL: So is your goal when writing raps to make me feel bad about my abilities or is that just an added perk?
Dezmatic: I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I only want good things for you, Timothy.
SYFFAL: You are the only person on the planet allowed to call me Timothy. That beat is hella jazzy bro. What about it spoke to you and said "Hey Dez why don’t you throw your rap dick in my juicy beat vag?"
Dezmatic: Lotta angry tough guy rap comes outta Albany. Figured I'd sexify something more velvety and Buckshot LeFonqueish for once. For you, Timothy.
SYFFAL: Wow a Buckshot LeFonque reference, Branford Marsalis just collected royalties’ bro. You claim that no team could Fuck with you and Mitch, well here is a list of teams I think can, tell me why they could not:
The 92 Bulls
Dezmatic: Yeahyouright. John Paxson's gangster is ruthless.
SYFFAL: The 86 Bears
Dezmatic: You mean the '85 Bears? The '86 Bears were dog shit. McMahon showed up to training camp 25 pounds overweight and Packers' Charles Martin separated his shoulder in week 12. Or did you mean the '86 Giants? Unfukwittable.
SYFFAL: Where do you get the stones to talk to me like that bro? Team Jacob
Dezmatic: Ed Cullen bro. DOY.
SYFFAL: Is it because you are both waifish and pale? Ok. Team America
Dezmatic: Puppets? Really Tim? You're really reaching now.
SYFFAL: Hickory High
Dezmatic: Your obscure references have no effect on me, Timothy. Next.
SYFFAL: Hoosiers bro, it’s the team from fucking Hoosiers. Show some fucking respect. The Chicos Bail Bonds Bears
Dezmatic: Tatum O'Neal's bitch made. Kelly Leak aka Rorschach aka Dukes (Jackie Earle Hailey) may pose a threat but the rest of them kids was all soft as hell. Matthau rest in peace. Still tho, we good there too.
SYFFAL: Tanner is a beast bro. A fucking BEAST! And possibly a racist. Finally the 2004 Boston Red Sox.
Dezmatic: That had more to do with luck and some magical voodoo witchcraft about a candy bar than anything, both of which Mitch's beard could overpower no prob. We still good.
SYFFAL: HOW DARE YOU! Is it just me or do you keep getting cuter?
Dezmatic: It's just you. Oh yeah, wifey has an issue with those late night sexts, Timothy.
SYFFAL: Enough with the Timothy shit bro. I am not wearing pants and it is starting to get weird….OK? You wasted a lot of food in this video, how do you explain yourself to them Sally Struthers kids?
Dezmatic: It was just cauliflower bro. Rotten cauliflower. So back up with all that left wing we are the world public works liberal shit, hippie.
SYFFAL: Just because I only shop at Whole Foods and listen to rap from the Pacific Northwest made by sampling Rain Sticks and the wails of indigenous populations it doesn’t mean I am some sort of hippie bro. Promote anything you want here.
Dezmatic: WWW.PIGFOODRECORDS.COM ALL DAY EVERY DAY
GIANT GORILLA DOG THING "HORSE" is coming soon, idiots.
SYFFAL: You are adorable bro.
I have been on some hater shit for the past few weeks, looking for a reason to write any and everything off. As one of the primary contributors on the interwebnetz's premiere music blog that talks about their own dicks to express how much they love a band, it probably isn't fair. I am man enough to realize this, and in the words of Jules from Pulp Fiction "I'm trying Ringo."
Well thanks to See You Next Tuesday, the baller as Fuck new single/video from British Indie assholes The Planes, I might have made a breakthrough bros. As much as I wanted to hate and skip out, I just couldn't stop listening. I was so ready to be done with the emails in my inbox when this fucker landed in my lap. Then those guitars kicked in with that weird combination of heavy, melodic, noodly, distant, and erotic; my fancy was tickled bro. By the time ol' boy with the "The Doors" shirt shouts about someone looking like a wanker I was toe tapping the Fuck out of this shit bro bro.
The Planes got me so fucking open. Big guitars, sweet melodies, huge hooks, and sense of urgency that just makes me pre-nut all over my keyboard bro.
This shit bangs.