Welcome back to Trending Topics, our weekly recap of all things stupid, this week we discuss Snooki, Joe Biden, Taylor Swift, Rick Santorum, Brad Pitt, iPad 3 and more.
As always we are joined by noted celebritologist and Ninja Tunes recording artist Blockhead.
Snookie is fucking pregnant? And the Republicans and religions have the nerve to be arguing about contraceptive? Shouldn't they now be pushing for mandatory sterilization? Maybe we can include the pill in bronzers and/or appletinis.
It would seem the four horsemen of the apocalypse have decided to go to the jersey shore and have a four way bukake session. The receptacle is none other than everyone's favorite gremlin jizz dispenser , Snooki. She will do for "motherhood" what Jersey shore did for Italian heritage.
Biden is heading south of the border to debate about the decriminalization of drugs. Gotta hand it to ol' Joe, he really doesn't give a Fuck about what anyone says about him. I love that about him.
Biden bout to go to Mexico and smoke some of that shwag shit. I bet Biden is the type who is not at all a picky weed smoker. To him sticky kind bud and Washington Square dirt weed are the same thing: A GREAT TIME.
I saw a picture of her in the Post this morning when I was reading over someone's shoulder on the train this morning. I realized that I like Taylor Swift a whole lot. Not in that way, just in the I am glad she exists sort of way. She seems really nice. I know, that isn't dicky enough for Trending Topics, but Fuck you for being such a prick about it.
I'm patiently awaiting her song about how the Lorax got her drunk, fingered her and never called her back. He vagina is basically a walking bulls-eye.
Rick Santorum is a monster prick. I am amazed that people hate Mitt Romney so fucking much that they would consider this sweater vest wearing shit bag who hates women almost as much as he hates gays. He looks like the kind of guy who kicks injured birds.
This fucking guy. Is a 157th term abortion illegal? Cause considering he wants to outlaw condoms, he might have to be the first casualty of that war.
Pitt is going to play the judge of the Prop 8 case in a play about gay equality. I love how everyday the anti-gay equality people look more and more like Jon Voight in a film about deny black people their rights. fucking dicks.
So, he's gonna play a judge? Or a gay judge? Or a judge who judges gays? How the Fuck does shit like this even trend? I mean, Jesus! SNOOKI IS PREGNANT PEOPLE!!!!!!! Let's get our priorities right.
Didn't the first iPad come out like 5 months ago? How are we already on the iPad 3? This is starting to feel like the emperor's new clothes.
I don't have an iPad 1. Seems like a lot of money for a huge iPhone that doesn't make calls. I like Angry Birds as much as the next guy but come on...
Martina is gonna be on Dancing With The Stars. That's all, I really don't have the energy, desire or will to address this one.
Dancing, huh? I would've sooner seen her in some sort of tough man competition; like eating an "eating a car" contest or "who can push this massive tire the farthest" competition.
The former Ms. Sheen is going to get off on drug and assault charges, out of all the things that Charlie Sheen gives a lady (herpes, crabs, low self esteem, a drug habit, a stench that can't be washed off, and tramp stamps) the ability to work the system must be the best of them all.
Man, living in the shadow of Charlie Sheen must be rough. She's like the Tito Jackson of drug and assault charges.
Linsanity is still a trending topic. It's a great story and all and dude is fun to watch. He is like some NBA Jams type shit, but he is also a turnover machine on an under .500 team. Fuck the Knicks.
Lin continues to be in the news. Even though he's slowed down a bit, he's still paving the way for Asian dudes in New York to Fuck white girls like no one else before him.
So the Saints threw the franchise tag on him, whup de fucking do. I like Drew Brees and all. I think he is a great QB, but if I have to watch that commercial with him and his kid kicking a ball through houses again I am going to fly down to New Orleans myself and rip that mole off his face.
I'm not sure what being franchised means…do they make you a bronze statue or something? Or do they just let you wear a Steve Francis jersey around the locker room?