Single White E-Mail - It Takes A Red Sox Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back

Hi Bri,

I just learned of an exciting new band named Phantom Power, are you jealous?

Timbuk3

Tim,

I'm not the jealous type. This "band" you speak of must be great as I have it on good authority your musical safaris often unearth the freshest of fresh sounds. Why are you not an A and R guy for Sony? I too have found a new band and here they are!

B-

Hi Briguy,

That is an amazing collection of young artists. Very talented. As for Sony, I refuse to work with the Japanese after what they did to our boys in Pearl Harbor. Plus I will never forgive them for dumping Dice K on my beloved Red Sox, who are underperforming in this early 2011 baseball season. How did a New Yorker become a Red Sox fan you ask? One word - YAZ!!!!!!!

The intimidator

Timbuktu,

Yes, Carl Yastrzemski, the great outfielder who threw right and batted left, has a shit-ton of RBI's, and was the recipient of 100 Gold Gloves (actually it was 5 or 6 I think). Do you remember what it was like being a red sox fan prior to 2004? Those were dark days. You know, I had high hopes for Dice and that secret pitch they kept talking about, but in hindsight they might have gone with Andrew Dice Clay instead. But how can they trade him with the "no-trade" clause in his contract. I've also heard rumors they want to trade Tim Wakefield as well which must be sad news for you and the rest of the Tim's of the world who try so hard to throw crumbled up pieces of trash in the can some 10 ft. away using only your knuckles.

Briski

Bri Wire,

Get the Fuck out, are you a Sox fan? Yaz was the fucking man. Chain smoker, kick ass burns, the last to get the Triple Crown and 3000 hits, Fuck I loved him. When I was young we used to go to Cape Cod and his son played for the summer league team in the town we stayed in, think the movie Summer Catch with Jessica Beil and Freddie Prince Jr, only less boring. Anyway I met him and he became my favs.

Pre-2004 was rough, 86 was a heart breaker, my brother is a Mets fan and I went from mocking him to crying. In the late 90s early 00s we were never that great, but come 2003 we were stacked and ready to compete. The Grady Little Game almost killed me. I was at a bar on 23rd street with my girlfriend watching it and was the only Sox fan besides an annoying drunk girl who kept yelling go Sox and almost inevitably every time she yelled it they fucked up. My girlfriend thought I was going to kill her. In 2004, I was ready to walk away for good. I was on my first tour ever and it started right when they went down 3-0, I didn’t even bother watching game 4. Watched game 5 in Missoula MT with a Yankees fan, game 6 missed because it was a travel day. Watched game 7 in Portland, OR in the green room, and we had to go on stage right when they brought in Pedro. Fastest set ever. The rest is history, saw the Sox win in Utah, and got hammered. Monkey off my back. It really was the ultimate, and a huge relief. 07 was just icing on the cake.

TimTimTamTam

Timberland,

Remember Don Zimmer running out at Pedro in game 3 of the 2003 ALCS? Man was that great! Someone should make a movie of that where Don Rickles stars as Zimmer and Alfonso Reberio stars as Pedro. There was one game I saw, and I can't remember if it was playoffs, World Series, or just regular season, but somehow Pedro ended up in the batting rotation - holy shit that was one of the strangest things I've ever seen. Whoever it was pitching couldn't figure out where the strike zone was because he's so small. Awkward and funny. Yeah I got into the Red Sox in the early 2000's when I lived in Cambridge, MA. The 2004 team was just awesome though, and the way they came back against the Yankees almost made me not even give a shit about the World Series, plus them facing the Cardinals seemed like meh? But then when they just bitch slapped em in each game and swept for the series it was the perfect ending to the curse. It's just too bad it all couldn't have happened at Fenway. But really, I've just been following Manny around his entire career. I lived in Ohio when he played for the Indians, Boston, and now LA. MANNY!!! Although I must admit like most Red Sox fans I was disappointed when he wouldn't run out ground balls - I guess that's just his style though - you know the voices in his head telling him to do that kind of shit.

F.B.Bri

Brian high again,

I am with you on Manny. They should have never let that sensual bastard go. He was a bit of an emotional mess but who cares he was one of the best hitting lefties in history and still producing. Granted it did help take a bit of the sting out of the steroid revelations but still. More importantly what the Fuck is going on with these guys now? 0-6? At this point I kind of want to see them go 0-162 just to say I saw it happen. That would be exciting.

What else is going on? Are you still flossing? Are you still a dream boat? Are you still holding your breath for the C.H.I.Ps remake?

Tim

Tim,

1-7! We're on our way buddy! They have to do something about their starting pitchers - Buccholtz lasted 3 innings? They've given up 19 home runs in 7 games? That's just not good baseball. I'd like to see their season go like the Major League movies - maybe they could get Wesley Snipes to steal some bases for them. We'll see what they today I guess. Can't wait for the CHIPS movie. Anything that has anything to do with Topher Grace gets me all weak in the knees!

Brian

BriBro,

I actually went to school with a kid named Topher, well it was actually Chris and eventually shortened to Toph. He was really into the band Overkill. Speaking of over and kill, the sox are awful. I am so glad it is football season already.

Tom

Timas,

Yes the Red Sox are a sad state of affairs, and on an even more somber baseball note - it looks like the Dodgers will be canceling their half off beer promotion for weekday games. This comes as the result of the beating of a Giants fan - but every Dodgers game I've ever been to someone gets stabbed, maimed, ridiculed, punched, shot, etc. I even saw a Padres fan getting a wedgie in the bathroom onetime - word of advice - never go to a Dodgers home game when they are playing the Padres. I've always been safe though because of my Manny shirt. I was a huge Overkill fan. I had all their tapes. The video for hello from the gutter was great.

Brian Furlachar