Selena just released a new scent and took cues from her twitter followers, which I think was a good move, considering the sophisticated noses that most 12 year old girls and 47 year old perverts have. My guess is it smells like unicorns and musty basements.

Dressed up in a Catwoman outfit for some stupid reason or another, officially making Halle Berry's turn as Catwoman, the second least offensive thing to ever happen to that character.

Rick Santorum was smitten and star struck over Lindsey Lohan at the White House Correspondent dinner, continuing the Republican's war on women and further padding his resume as the creepiest guy in the room.

Speaking of that correspondent dinner. Somehow Linsdey Lohan was invited. I mean it's not like we needed a reminder of how fucked out system is, but with election season approaching, it is nice to get one in the form of a drug addled former child star.

CinemaCon gave her the actress of the year award which is nice and all, I mean she seems like a groovy chick. I don't know if starring in Butter, a film about someone who carves sculptures in butter and that shitty remake of Arthur should qualify as a banner year. I guess they are giving it retroactively the way the Academy gave Martin Scorsese the Oscar for The Departed...except people actually liked that.

Cannibal Shrimp sounds like a B-movie that stars Ving Rhames and Deborah Gibson. Sadly it is just some shit that is going to Fuck up the supply for my big ass summer BBQ.

Scott Bakula, or "THE BACK" as I call him, is going to be on Desperate Housewives. My only hope is that he is Quantum Leaped into one of their bodies and then Al makes a lot of quips about plastic surgery. BEST. QUANTUM. LEAP. EVER!

Alicia defends her crazy habit of feeding her kids like a bird, which is important because the media salivates for shit like this because they are fucking swine, and maybe just maybe she might end up on one of those "my strange addiction" shows on Bravo.

Bates is going to be on Two and a Half Men, I am really hoping she breaks Ashton Kutcher's ankles with a sledge hammer...in real life.

My lady friend watches this show. I have watched a few episodes as well, though most times when it comes on it means it is time for me to go to the gym.