Saycet

Mirage

9
9/10
Joel Frieders | March 5, 2015

I've spent a good portion of my life driving. I'd say a large percentage of that time has been driving alone. BUT BRO, THO BRO. I'm not setting you up for a list of complaints about it, I'm merely illustrating that most of the music I love the most I love alone.

Sure, you can't always drink with your buddies to something like Bon Iver, but you can sure as shit drive cross country with just you and him while wearing a well worn flannel and waterproof boots bro.

Saycet sort of falls into the solo road trip category for me now since the few times I listened to his new new Mirage in front of other people I've received concerned glances, three scoffs, and then someone called the cops on me.

IT IS CALLED INTERPRETIVE DANCE BRO. IF YOU AIN'T BOUT THIS LIFE THEN DON'T WEAR SHIFFON AND MIME shit WITH TIGHTS ON. BUT DONT JUDGE ME BRO. *pirrouete* *flutter kick*

Saycet has these eerily pleasant pillows for beats and the glowing drizzles of shimmer dude spurts all over everything is the aural equivalent of having just ejaculated. Serious bro, listen to "Smiles from Thessaloniki" and tell me you aren't being pulled in seven different directions by gloved hands smothered in warmed baby oil.

You can take that however you like. Just imagine living in the world of Tron but instead of an overpowering evil impeding everything, think of just ginormous titties in the sky at all times. These titties are the sun. These titties are the moon. These titties are the life force from which all of life's pleasure is derived from.

So tittties, these titties. We shield our eyes from these titties. We wear special glasses to brotect ourselves from the titties' rays with tittyglasses, and prescription tittyglasses are also available. We sow our seeds based on the calendar of these titties. We harvest our crops when these titties have ripened them as only these titties can. The motions of the oceans are influenced by these titties. People have tattoos on their lower backs of these titties. There is a tea that's made by leaving a jar with a tea bag in it out in the titties, it's tihtea bro.

Saycet is these titties.

I was going to talk about the female vocalist that somehow managed to placate even the most stringent of my personal expectations in female vocalists, but I think I just broke the internet with the above comments. Her voice is so much Policia, yet so much fucking more. It's a lite lunch that tides you over until the sunsets and you can dig into some heavy fucking charcuterie bro.

Phoene Somsavath, your throat reminds of the feeling I get when I watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. There's this regal and hugely sentimental beauty in your voice, and I'm sure you only ever sing when there's a slow motion fan blowing in your face. You're amazing. Leave me a voicemail and only sing my name. Please.

GO BUY THIS ALBUM AND GET COMFORTABLY HELL YEA.