Welcome back to Trending Topics, our weekly recap of all things stupid, this week we discuss Salma Hayek, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, MLB Allstar Game and more.
As always we are joined by noted celebritologist and Ninja Tunes recording artist Blockhead.
You can order his new album Interludes After Midnight, here.
Hayek wouldn't allow her kids to come on to the set of her new movie Savages because it was violent and sexual, pretty much the same reasons as to why I don't let my kids come into the SYFFAL offices...RIGHT JOEL?
If I were Hayek's kids, I wouldn't wanna see her movies ever. They're probably the only people alive who don't wanna see her tits though.
Not sure why he is a trending topic, my guess is that it has something to do with his divorce. I for one am stoked to see which way to young starlet he ends up with. My money is on Coach Taylor's daughter from Friday Night Lights.
All contracts are final. This is no different. Now Katie Holmes can go through the Clockwork Orange like mental delousing that I'm sure will kick start her acting career once again.
Travolta is amazing in the new movie Savages and apparently he is also amazing on the massage table...right male masseuses?
Travolta has always been on of those middle ground actors. he's okay in some shit and terrible in other things. Obviously, his greatest performance ever has been his earnest explanation to another man how fucking him in the ass isn't gay.
There is nothing more depressing than watching this shit, with the exception of watching this year's Red Sox. Fuck THEY SUCK!
I used to love baseball and I still never gave a shit about an All star game. Not to mention, letting fans pick who plays is kinda like letting obese diabetic housemothers from the Midwest choose your cuisine. It's actually exactly the same. Not even a simile.
Police have changed the cause of death from accident to unknown on her death certificate. This was the #1 Trending Topic yesterday. Seriously 'Merica, don't you have better shit do search for online...maybe say, job listings?
Breaking news: New evidence concerning long time rotting corpse unearthed. Even if this was murder, there's a statute of limitations on me caring.
Ohhh the ESPN Body Issue dropped which means a shit ton of naked athletes. I always imagine this to be exciting, then I realize that all the lady athletes are built like Tara from True Blood and I get pissed off about True Blood not killing her off yet.
On paper, a magazine full of naked athletes sounds promising, then you remember most athletes are men and women who look like men.
Kyra had a few harsh words for Bernie Madoff, which is exciting and relevant because...well I guess because she is a white woman? Who the Fuck knows.
I think the whole world's been waiting with baited breath to hear what Kevin Bacon's wife has to say about all hot topic issues like Bernie Madoff. Hopefully here next outburst will be a review of "Borat".
Sorry I refuse to expend any energy on someone who spells Courtney with a K, let alone the 4th most famous Kardashian.
You ever notice how smart, interesting and funny celebrities never have kids but the ones who are basically walking toxic waste pop them out like machines. At this point, the Kardashians should just be a cult.
Apparently tests show that 'Mericans aren't taking care of themselves. Luckily we are now teaching creationism in schools so maybe our grand kids won't have all these scientists telling them they are fat.
I don't need a medical study to tell me that Americans are out of shape, unhealthy disasters. At this point, Diabetes is like a common cold for fat people.
Wasn't as good as Taco Tuesday.
As a smug apple computer user, good luck you PC owning losers.