If I were Hayek's kids, I wouldn't wanna see her movies ever. They're probably the only people alive who don't wanna see her tits though.

All contracts are final. This is no different. Now Katie Holmes can go through the Clockwork Orange like mental delousing that I'm sure will kick start her acting career once again.

Travolta has always been on of those middle ground actors. he's okay in some shit and terrible in other things. Obviously, his greatest performance ever has been his earnest explanation to another man how fucking him in the ass isn't gay.

I used to love baseball and I still never gave a shit about an All star game. Not to mention, letting fans pick who plays is kinda like letting obese diabetic housemothers from the Midwest choose your cuisine. It's actually exactly the same. Not even a simile.

Breaking news: New evidence concerning long time rotting corpse unearthed. Even if this was murder, there's a statute of limitations on me caring.

On paper, a magazine full of naked athletes sounds promising, then you remember most athletes are men and women who look like men.

I think the whole world's been waiting with baited breath to hear what Kevin Bacon's wife has to say about all hot topic issues like Bernie Madoff. Hopefully here next outburst will be a review of "Borat".

You ever notice how smart, interesting and funny celebrities never have kids but the ones who are basically walking toxic waste pop them out like machines. At this point, the Kardashians should just be a cult.

I don't need a medical study to tell me that Americans are out of shape, unhealthy disasters. At this point, Diabetes is like a common cold for fat people.  

As a smug apple computer user, good luck you PC owning losers.