Our Interview with Rainbow Danger Club: Intimate but aggressive lovemaking with the occasional midget reach-around

I lead a busy life.

I don't have time for bullshit.

I can only do so much in one day, and that is why Rainbow Danger Club pisses me off.

They can do more in one 4 minute song than I can do in a week, and that is a week when I am getting a solid 7 hours of sleeping a night and drinking 8 cups of water. These bastards are terrifying to me and not just because they are all "We teach at international schools in China while making some of the most electrifying and intense music this side of the great wall". No they terrify me because they are brilliant and sensual pricks that make me dream of days where I can smoke opium without any repercussions.

Isn't it bad enough that they are already more productive, better looking, and by all means half our size? Now they have to make better music than us? fucking HELL.

Get me a half suit and a slide-whistle stat, I need to start my own band to show these fuckers who is boss.

Oh who am I kidding?

Rainbow Danger Club are a rare breed of man/child, the type we all aspire to be more like. They are the Buddha, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. Let's see what these lovable pricks have to say about being so boss.

SYFFAL: Since I can't read Chinese, I refuse to study up on your band. So can you please tell our readers the following:
- Who you are?
- Who does what in the band?
- And what you plan to take from us once China calls in its debt and repossesses all of our stuff?

Rainbow Danger Club (RDC): We are Rainbow Danger Club. We've been together for about two years. We're based in dirty, wonderful Shanghai, China. Jesse is on Guitar, vocals and lead songwriting, Wumao (me) is on bass, vocals, and production, Micheal is on Trumpet, keyboards and percussion, and Ford is on drums and percussion. Your women, because there is a huge surplus of dudes here thanks to certain policies.

SYFFAL: I have described your sound as:
It is like Thom Yorke impregnated Grace Slick with his magical lazy eye and their evil quadruplet offspring ran off to join the Polyphonic Spree before killing off the guy with the curly hair that sings, the methy looking guy with blonde hair and those kind of cute/kind of annoying gals that stomp around, dance and play the flute before taking over the band and feeding them a steady diet of whiskey and Queen.

Does this accurately sum it up? And what are your thoughts about Thom Yorke's lazy eye having sex with Grace Slick?

RDC: You stole the words from my mouth. I'm sure you can fit thousands of eyes in Grace Slick.

SYFFAL: Sounds like a video description from Tumblr porn. My friend Joel and I met during a back room game of poker, he was down to his last chips and I spotted him so he could match the bet of a Nigerian prince who was willing to take his thumbs, since then we have been fast friends. How did you guys meet and when did you know that you were destined to join the Rainbow Danger Club.

RDC: We are all international school teachers in Shanghai. We just started as drinking/jamming buddies and played fake jazz at art galleries and school events. Eventually, we got sick of that and started writing songs about mermaids. Now we are playing the country's biggest festivals. Basically, we write music that we love, enjoy every moment of it, and don't take it for granted.

SYFFAL: Is the Rainbow Danger Club affiliated with any other clubs?

RDC: I think all boys were in some kind of adventure/fantasy club when they were kids. Being in a band sometimes feels like I'm reliving that boyhood naivety and freedom. I was in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle club when i was younger. I was Donatello and I'd run around the neighborhood in a purple headband and eat pizza. Now I play a purple bass and eat pizza.

SYFFAL: TMNT? Really? I should introduce you to Del. Do you have to get jumped in to the Rainbow Danger Club, or can you sleep your way in? I am not good with pain so I might just sleep my way in.

RDC: How do you think I go in?

SYFFAL: Well aren't you a bunch of sexy pricks. When I used to tour I once found myself staying with some fans who came out to our show, when we got to their house there wasn't an inch of floor visible through the clutter, they were essentially horders. What was the scariest place you ever had to crash on the road?

RDC: Some Chinese hotels are basically mildewy broom closets with squat toilets. I've stayed in a few of those. However, as a band, we'll pay the extra 5 bucks and upgrade to western toilets.

SYFFAL: Sounds like you guys made it, western toilets and all. I keep seeing that Shanghai has a thriving music scene, although I didn't even know about it until I heard you guys. Tell us about what's going on over there that is so special?

RDC: A lot of outsiders don't realize that China hosts a very wide spectrum of lifestyles, races, cultures, and nationalities. People from all over China and the world come to Shanghai to fulfill their dreams. It's very international and multicultural and lot of those subcultures overlap in the music, art, food, nightlife and psyche of the city. China is also a very challenging place to live and I think the people (locals and foreigners alike) are really proud to be from Shanghai and you can hear it in the music. There's a sense of immediacy and dynamism that drives the scene, a scene that has really taken off only in the last 3-4 years and has no sign of stopping. I've been all over the world and no city matches the dynamics of Shanghai. For a short list of great Shanghai bands, check out this page.

SYFFAL: I will not check it, I asked you and I expect you to answer. Moving on, I understand you are working on a new EP, which you have promised me that I can hear once it's available. What kind of things should I expect?

RDC: I am not 100% sure myself as we aren't limiting ourselves by style or writing method. It's going to be a step sideways as we experiment with new forms of musical expression, melodies, and ideas. However, we will try to limit ourselves by using only open-source software and find other ways to make this an "open-source" EP. We'll bring it back to cohesion on the next full-length album.

SYFFAL: Sounds awesome, can I design the artwork? I am thinking Topless pictures of Joel and I.

RDC: Not for the album cover, but maybe for my personal collection.

SYFFAL: Maybe bottomless then? Speaking of special collections, our site started as a small collection of artists sharing the music they loved with each other. In this spirit who are three bands besides you that we should be checking for?

RDC: There are too many good bands in Shanghai and I'd feel like a dick if I listed 3 and not some of the others. But I will mention that Duck Fight Goose is my favorite Shanghai Band. Its kinda electro dance math rock. Then there's The Restoration out of South Carolina, USA, really rich, beautiful bluegrass/folk-infused conceptual stuff. Thirdly, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum is a fairly obscure band from the Bay Area, USA that has had a huge impact on me as a musician. Dark, melodic and they make a lot of their own instruments.

SYFFAL: I thought Rainbow Danger Club was the best band name I have heard in ages then you go all Sleepytime Gorilla Museum. Sounds like they just took 3 words at random, I love it. Is there a Rainbow Danger Club Clubhouse? If so where is it and what's the secret knock, if not what famous clubhouse would you like to copy to make yours?

RDC: If we have a clubhouse, it is a post-revolution, underground bomb-shelter-turned-practice-space and recording studio called Juju. It's at the center of Shanghai Rock. There is no secret knock. You just need to bring enough Tsingtao to last an afternoon practice. Eventually, I'd like to move to the countryside and have a tree house recording studio. Something like Swiss Family meets Swizz Beatz.

SYFFAL: I bet the two of them would make some sexxxy hot chocolate. Speaking of sexy hot chocolate, if you could describe your sound using only food and sex positions what would it be?

RDC: Food: Banana. Sex: intimate but aggressive lovemaking with the occasional midget reach-around.

SYFFAL: What is it with the Chinese and midget sex? Ok. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Al Gore's forehead and 10 being eating Chocolate Pudding off of Uma Thurman's gigantic toes, how great is our site?

RDC: Uma!

SYFFAL: You're too kind. Please promote anything you would like to promote

RDC: http://www.sleepingchinese.com/