I'm Hungry...And Feel Like Doing Something Stupid w/ Seezmics (Learning from the NFL)

All beginnings are humble, and some more humbling than others.

Last fall, I began writing for SYFFAL as a member of the NFL discussion panel. After years of projecting my O.C.D. onto professional football, I finally had an outlet for my obstinate observations and horrible gambling advice. I took painstaking efforts to craft witty and insightful comments about each week's games in the hopes my humor would compensate for my inability to say anything helpful.

Sort of like this column.

Anywho, I am usually FIRRRRRRRRED UP around this time of year because it means the beginning of another NFL season. I would spend roughly 27 hours a day gobbling up any information I could about my beloved game. I wanted to know which kickers performed better in domes. I wanted to know which linebackers were quick off the edge but susceptible to play action. I wanted to know which coaches banged bibles to keep their players in line.

I HAD AN INSATIABLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND.

This year? This year is different.

I have spent every fall/winter since the age of 8 immersing myself in the statistical and socioeconomic minutiae of the NFL. The last few years, I have noticed that I became far more interested in the stories surrounding the games than the games themselves. I would still park myself on the couch for 12 hours every Sunday and digest the pregame, game, highlights, and postgame discussions... but the outcomes eventually became less fulfilling than the process of learning what created them. This gap in expectation and fulfillment got me thinking. Thinking about life. Thinking about death. Thinking about whether or not overs are a sucker bet.

Well, mostly about life and death.

A friend of mine told me they're not into competitive sports because competition leads to an overemphasis on outcome. They feel that too much value is placed on the final score and that our society reflects the negative impact of this way of thinking as manifested by violence and dishonesty. The more I've reflected on my own competitive impulses, the more I've realized that I am not fascinated by winning or losing. I am fascinated by learning. Thus, my cognitive dissonance after finding little to no satisfaction once the scoreboard was done adding up.

As a result, I have decided to spend this NFL season relishing in the human interest stories generated by the male soap opera that is professional sports. Sure, I'll watch the games and stay up to date about which team has the best chance at winning it all. But ultimately, I just want to learn something about the human condition without being so concerned with whether or not my team is living up to my unreasonable expectations. I hope to achieve a higher sense of who I am and the world I live in through an activity I have only seen through one prism since childhood.

WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLshit, COLE! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU'LL BE SCREAMING AT THE TV WHEN SEXY REXY GETS PICKED IN THE END ZONE!!! GO SKINZZZ