I want to go clam digging with these ladies! Not code! I feel like a carton of GPCs, some IPA tall boys and a shitty guitar covered Fairport Convention stickers and they’d strap me to the bumper. Don’t know much about them, but What Hearts just made me want to jump up, holler ROAD TRIP, sit back down and smoke a jay, then grab Tim by the chest follicles, whistle through my two front, and head the Fuck on out to the country!
What Hearts is a female folk outfit from Portland. I will shoot your fucking bird if you put it on it. Don’t make me do it! With roots wrapped around box cars, that What Hearts’ “The Morning Crew” compels me to want get the Fuck outta Dodge is understandable. I found the perfect stick. Now if Joel’d stop stealing my really cool bandanas to wipe up apple sauce, I’d have an epic hobo pack ready for rail surfing. I’ve discarded my nail clippers, got a tattoo of a samovar, stole an old school bus, and quit shaving in preparation for this pilgrimage.
“Go northwest young man,” I practiced a couple hundred times in the mirror. Then went to see Mario at Mario’s liqs for a pack of smokes a bottle of Jamie and proceeded to eat weird Japanese cracker snacks with my roomies and watch Robot Chicken like every night. This is 2012! The dustbowl’s totally over! You can watch What Hearts’ vidz like whenevers on the wo-wi-web and get that crunchy, old timey vibe instantaneastically.