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Trending Topics with Tim Baker and Blockhead Volume 69 (Muhammad Ali, Idris Elba, Laura Kaeppeler, Dwarf Tossing and More)
Welcome back to Trending Topics, our weekly recap of all things stupid, This Week we discuss Muhammad Ali, Idris Elba, Laura Kaeppeler, Dwarf Tossing and more.
As always we are joined by noted celebritologist and Ninja Tunes recording artist Blockhead.
Muhammad Ali
Muhammad Ali
Ali turned 70 this week and apparently he is still the only boxer that matters.
I'm not gonna make a Parkinson's joke here cause I'm still fairly confidant he could kick my ass regardless. Happy B-day to the gawd.
Idris Elba
Idris Elba
Idris Elba won a Golden Globe for his work on the BBC show Luther. He could win numerous Academy Awards for playing everyone from Mark Twain to Harry Potter and he will still be Stringer Bell to me.
The first time I heard him speak out of character , my head exploded. It would be like if the Napoleon Dynamite guy stopped filming a scene and all of a sudden sounded like a teenaged girl.
Laura Kaeppeler
Laura Kaeppeler
She is our new Miss America. I can see a time when this once mattered, when it was a really huge thing to be Miss America, people gave a Fuck. But now? You are lower than Hockey on the must see list, you have to hang around dirty creeps like Donald Trump and Rush Limbaugh and it is just a matter of weeks before you sex video drops. Hardly seems worth it.
Dunno who she is and I haven't seen her pic yet but I don't doubt her cocaine and whoring scandal is right around the corner. So, in a way, I'll just wait a little and watch her homemade porn when it drops.
Dwarf Tossing
Dwarf Tossing
Peter Dinklage mentioned Martin Henderson, a dwarf who was paralyzed from dwarf tossing, finally bringing light to the type of savages that live in our nations suburban paradises.
Dwarf tossing is some retarded shit. Why use dwarfs when there are way more perfectly good children around? Kids are EVERYWHERE, how often do you see a dwarf? Like 3 times a year?
Michelle Williams
Michelle Williams
Michelle Williams won the Golden Globe for best actress for her work in My Week with Marilyn, in which she portrayed Marilyn Monroe. This made me want to see the movie even less.
I'm a fan of hers, in the sense that I'd like to make out with her.
Mark Sanchez
Mark Sanchez
The Sanchize had a tough week. He was put on blast by unnamed teammates for his play, claiming that he was lazy and pampered. I didn't realize that Santonio Holmes changed his name to Unnamed Teammate.
No matter what happens, I'm sure he cries himself to sleep every night on a pile of money and hot women (or men, the streets are talking).
Napoleon Dynamite
Napoleon Dynamite
I am glad to see that FOX is riding the wave of success that had crashed and returned to the ocean of obscurity back in 2002.
It would be easy to hate on this but, as long as this show is aimed for children and lonely stoners, I don't have a problem with it.
Lana Del Rey
Lana Del Rey
Lana Del Rey gave a less than inspired performance on SNL this weekend, and boy oh boy did it set the blogoshere on a rampage. I still haven't figured out the hate for this woman, apparently she looked kind of wholesome when she was a kid and now she is an adult trying to vamp it up? Look at your yearbook picture before casting stones you arrogant pricks, Fuck I guarantee your attempt at being edgy was about as sharp as me with my Gumby earring and Iron Maiden shirts.
But Fuck that performance was painful.
Dude. I actually think she's okay but that performance…wow… She sang like how deaf people talk.
L.L. Bean
L.L. Bean
L.L. Bean turned 100 this week. fucking Aye! I was out in Maine two summers ago and went to the headquarters, that shit was AWESOME. Open 24 hours a day, I was looking at hunting knives, boots and flannels after a night of drinking. If that isn't a successful business model I don't know what is.
Peace to a 100 years of lumberjack lesbian outdoor wear.
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