Music Ruined My Life: Too many choices!

Like most college students, I spent a large fucking chunk of my time trying to figure out just what the Fuck I wanted to do with my life. Did I want to head off to pharmacy school and follow in my parents’ footsteps? Did I want to hit law school and be like my uncle? Did I want to keep trying to hit the rock n roll home run and live life like a movie? Did I want to act on Broadway and take advantage of batting for the team that likes to pound vagina when 85% of the other actors around me preferred the schwanz?

It seemed everything I investigated as far as a future was one of two things: it was either too fucking permanent and allowed only itself to consume my entire fucking life, or it was only awesome to the people who watched you.

Either I did one thing and whether I loved it or hated it, that’s all I fucking did for the rest of my fucking life until I died, or while seemingly glamorous, I would fucking loathe my career choice and be stuck wanting to stab muthafuckers while wearing a smile.

Episode after episode confirmed that there were millions of fucking things out there to avoid at all costs.

• *I considered becoming a pharmacist like my parents, but I never saw my parents until about a half hour before I got ready for bed. My sister and I cooked for ourselves, and our parents, and while I won’t argue that I had a fucking awesome childhood, I knew I didn’t want a job that would be such a “career” that I would miss hearing about my kids’ day at school.
• *I tried working at the Chicago Board of Trade and grew disgusted with the amount of drug use among the traders who spent all day screaming, throwing gang signs and then either celebrating a huge score in November Beans (Novy Beans) or crying like a fucking loon when December Wheat hit the fucking tank. Life seemed too short to have no middle of the road days.
• *I tried the full time musician thing about a half dozen times in my life and, if you read a few weeks back about my bar band days, I found myself on the defensive when it came to who I was really performing for. Was I happy playing guitar for 6 hours a night for people who didn’t care if I was playing topless or bottomless? Did my life really revolve around making other people happy or at least distracting them from the fact that they picked the wrong career?
• *I tried acting, but life seems a bit fucking ing flimsy when I'm reading a scene over and over for $75 a night while my friends are either rebuilding engines or being firemen.
• *I tried investigating government work and/or politics, as a political science major and a fucking huuuuuuge bullshitter, I knew I could do that shit with no problem. But I found out that I have morals as huge as my fucking balls and I can’t fucking lie to people. Add that to the fact that nearly every job in government that doesn’t involve licking stamps or interviewing by people way more miserable that I was involves years and years of pro bono grunt work, that assfaced pimple poppers call “internships”. Fuck internships, Fuck government, and Fuck you.
• *I looked into opening my own brewery, but at my current position with three young children and a wife who needs the sexin’ on the reg, I don’t have the youth in me to be away from my family for a few years while that idea ferments. It’s still a dream, but I’ll need kids in college and a team of friends to help me.
• *I actively considered opening up my own apiary, as bees have kind of become a huge fucking part of my life over the past year. I found out I don’t have the manpower or land to pull that off without, again, being without the family for much of the year.

But here I am now, 32 or something like that, hot wife, three kids under four, running my family’s compounding pharmacy with my sister and parents. I'm still searching, but I'm fucking happy. I’ve found a way to supplement my addiction to music by playing (paying only) gigs with some of my favorite musicians, The Opus.

Along with Tim and Del and Kyle and a rotating band of assholes and music fiends such as ourselves, we pump out SYFFAL for no other reason than most of us have been performers at some point and we know that the music industry sucks fucking cocks.

I guess music ruined our lives because we only do this shit because we love it, and we get to call Del a fucking piece of shit all the fucking time.