Metermaids

We Brought Knives

9
9/10
Staff | December 12, 2014

Brando: I haven't fucked with Metermaids much before now. I had heard of them, bumped something from somewhere at some point. But We Brought Knives is their first release to give me an existential crisis of the "DO I EVEN LIKE BACON ANYMORE?" variety. I feel like the very first question if I interviewed them would be: "Bros, Metermaids, really?"

Ralph: I have no shame in admitting I hate meter maids with a passion! They walk around like pretend cops, monitoring how long I've parked, and which Strange Famous records are in my car. It's Orwellian villainy at its worst. But, I was informed by Brando these weren’t THOSE meter maids. These are THE Metermaids of Uncle Sage's Strange Famous Records whom I slept ever so gently on. Good news for me though, because We Brought Knives, Metermaids newest album tenderly slaps me the Fuck awake with machete drawn and raps on tap.

Brando: Dude, Metermaids could be my friends. Like I could pick them up in my 4-door Accord and go the liquor store and beat them at Street Fighter. I feel like me and Metermaids could go on a playdate with our kids and all the nannies at the park would jock us hard as we struggled with double knots and sippy cup lids. I feel like me and Metermaids could lay feet to feet on a sectional couch and watch new episodes of Adventure Time and hate eat peppermint-flavored Oreos.

Ralph: I feel like if I had a flat in Brooklyn, these dudes would meet up for skinny peppermint latte arguments over the age-old debate: "Hobo Junction Vs. Hieroglyphics". FYI, Hobo killed guys, sorry. I feel like these guys are watching old episodes of rap city with me when it was Joe Clair and Big Lez, and we’re sitting bugging out over GZA's "Liquid Swords".

Brando: I bet Metermaids used to Fuck with The Box hard! Remember The Box? People used to call in and request all types of shitty videos. And by shitty I just mean videos. Back then all the videos were shitty. It was sick though because there weren’t any country songs or rock songs. It was our very own hood video channel. In New Orleans, it was always either like super East Coast “Monie in the Middle” type shit, or like Bone Thugs in Harmony’s first joint. But then there’d be all these rat shit local videos that you’d ride fucking hard for. Metermaids def fucked with The Box, I can feel it in my bone(r)s.

Ralph: Metermaids leave me missing the days of rap friends, listening to records and dissecting each section, then plotting our turn at bat. Except they make me feel warm and glad I ditched that for raising my kids and passing on the love of music and art.

Brando: I just learned how to talk to myself about that shit. Or write to you and Joel and the rest of the Syffalears. And I still pause rewind pause rewind to figure out lyrics to songs I love. As for the dad shit, “Advice I Know You Won't Follow,” might be the best “to my kid” rap song I’ve ever heard. Just keeps it real. And the “you’re gonna be alright” refrain had me all pop rocks in my mouth feeling.

Ralph: I can tell on every song these guys love the culture of Hip-Hop, but love the art of story telling and spilling blood on each track too. Nothing is so complex you can't follow what they're really thinking, which makes them a snug-bug-in rug fit on Strange Famous Records.

Brando: They’re like Uncle Sage without all the sexual hangups. But I agree that they murk the mike but not on some abstract new new shit. I like references like this Sage Francis/3rd Base/Method Man mashup: “No man’s an island / I am a ROCK / Pop goes the weasel / The weasel goes POP / With a freestyle like that you bound to get SHOT / One hand on my dick screaming, “Fuck THE COPS” / Sing a song of 6 pence / a pocket full of rye / Half of me is ocean / Half of me is sky / I ain’t ever gonna ever gonna die…”

Ralph: "God & Country" is a wobbled out banger of bangings that also reveals the secret of their Immortality with lines like, "we're gonna die but live forever baby, don't be freaked." It's hard not to be slightly frightened of the skills and/or vampire life span. I also feel like dudes were on some telepathy/Dr. Peter Vankmin and tapped into my psyche, when they waxed nostalgic on "House on Fire". I wouldn't change any of the hard road I went down, or music I held onto during those travels either. These guys are play cousins in the making. Can we say we're related guys? For fun? And for real's?

Brando: Hi, I’m Brando and I’m a rapaholic. Emcees Sentence and Swell both seem like dudes who could win a battle against Tony the Tiger as part of a nutricious breakfast, freestyle the PTA minutes in the afternoon, and then drop heavy bars at the bar later that night, and then wake up to feed the baby. The knives are just that sharp.

Ralph: These guys made me a fan, and have me searching Craigslist for rap dad park meet up groups in Brooklyn. Lets push swings together bros!!! Metermaids!!!