Welcome back to Trending Topics, our weekly recap of all things stupid, this week we discuss the Mariah Carey, Nouriel Roubini, Emily Maynard, Ashton Kutcher and more.
As always we are joined by noted celebritologist and Ninja Tunes recording artist Blockhead.
You can order his new album Interludes After Midnight, here.
Mariah is gonna be a judge on American Idol, like I needed another reason not to watch American Idol.
Being a judge on American Idol is kinda like the pop star equivalent to menopause. But menopause for crazy women who own 5 million dollars worth of shoes.
Nouriel Roubini says we are facing a perfect economic storm in 2013, which kind of sucks, but not as much as still using the term perfect storm.
I like the Kool Keith version of Dr. Doom WAY more than this guy. Much less of a bummer.
Apparently she is a contestant on The Bachelor, or is the Bachelor, that was all I needed to know to stop reading.
Who? What? Jesus america…How the Fuck are you still watching the Bachleor? I've never seen it but I'm assuming there must be great special effects or something.
Is he or isn't he sleeping with Mila Kunis? Who knows, I am more concerned about how he got Nikon to make him their spokesperson.
Talk about the slow burn. these two knew each other for like 20 years. I don't blame Kutcher. I do however blame Kunis.
Apparently for the second time in a week there have been Bears in a Pittsburgh shopping mall. Since we are going to have the same exact joke, I will defer to Block.
I've been to Pittsburgh and I'm pretty sure over half the male population are "bears" in the hairy, fat gay guy kinda way.
As a rational man I know that his production is at a career low, as an irration Sox fan my only response if Fuck THE YANKEES!
Why not? Nothing surprises me with the Yankees. I'm betting money that they sign babe Ruth's hologram next year and he hits 60 home runs.
Tom Hanks turned down the role of Andy Dufresne in the Shawshank Redemption. I got nothing bad to say about Hanks, I fucking love that guy.
Oh no! Poor Tom Hanks passed on that huge roll. To think, he could have been the most famous actor of the 90's and 2000's and instead. It's like he never existed.
Michael Jackson's mom went missing for a few days. This is the second time this happened. The first time was during their childhood when it appears she was absent the whole time Joe was beating the shit out of them.
I can't lie, i didn't even know M.J.'s mom was still alive. Then this story pops up, so apparently she's great at going unnoticed.
Patrick Stewart will be carrying the Olympic torch for a leg of the run during the London games. It would be so boss if he dressed like Gandolf and the torch was shaped like his staff...yes code.
It'd be cooler if he just beamed himself places.
21 people suffered serious burns during a coal walking exercise at one of his retreats. Not to get off topic but he totally looks like the dude that Russell Edgington head clapped in this week's episode of True Blood.
You can tell just by looking at his face that's he's a creep. No one with teeth that big are up to any good.