Welcome back to Trending Topics, our weekly recap of all things stupid, this week we discuss March Madness, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Yu Darvish, Jay Z and more.
As always we are joined by noted celebritologist and Ninja Tunes recording artist Blockhead.
I really couldn't give a Fuck about college basketball, yet every year I get sucked in to the madness. I can guarantee that come Thursday and Friday I will be taking lunches at bars that have TVs and bar food that is only slightly better than the shitty level of play in college basketball.
In general, this country's interest in college sports baffles me, I mean who cares unless you went to that school? It's college kids playing sports. Fuck'em! On the other hand I get march madness cause, you know, there's heavy gambling involved.
I can't believe it is 2012 and this fucker is still on the air. I first heard him back in 1990 when the dumbest person in my dorm and quite possibly whole school (and this was a Jr. college for fuck's sake), listened to him religiously. He was a nice guy and all, just dumb as a tool box. Rush has built a 20+ year career catering to these loud obnoxious dick bags, which I think says a lot more about Americans than it does about Rush. Still Rush is a grotesque piece of crap who deserves to get the shit kicked out of him on a daily basis.
This fat asshole can't keep his mouth shut. I'm patiently waiting for him to just admit he punches a mirror every morning cause he is pissed that slavery ended.
Look everyone Sarah Palin is back in the news! Hey reporters! We get it, she is as dumb as a hamster, can you please stop telling us this? It is starting to feel like someone is over compensating.
I watched Game Change and she gets buried in it. If she's actually happy it bought her back into the spotlight she's dumber than the movie already made her look.
Texas Rangers pitcher Yu Darvish is having an impressive spring training. I know this because, when I searched for "things I could give a Fuck about" and "things that will have little to no consequence when it matters", his name came up.
I'm a fan of anytime an athletes first name is something like "Yu" cause the chants for the are always great. I'm Hoping he walks out to "Superman that hoes and watch me YUUUUUUU!".
Jay is in the news for getting a police escort to a concert. Not sure if this is an attempted slam at his street cred, but to have the biggest gang in the world driving you around seems pretty gangster.
Jay-Z should just get one of those pope mobile cars. Fuck a police escort. I mean shit, he can afford it. He may as well drive in a tank.
Obama's approval ratings are slipping over gas prices, which he has zero control over, but that is besides the point. Here is my advice for remaining sane in this political season. Turn off your fucking TV till October, before then none of this shit matters.
Maybe I'm being optimistic but no matter how much Obama's approval rating drops the Republican candidate is a fucking joke. So, you know let a player play.
Ceelo claims his team is the team to beat on The Voice. I would tend to agree, especially since Ceelo looks like a real life version of one of them aliens from Attack The Block. Those things were beasts.
Shamefully, I watch the voice. I can't tell you who's team is the best (as they're all filled with complete shitheads) but I can tell you that the difference between Cee-lo and Christina Aguilera's waist size is maybe one belt notch.
John Mayer cancelled his tour because he was having surgery, which I guess is the new exhaustion, which was the new "I'm a raging coke head".
I'm not sure what kinda surgery he's getting but I'll assume it's either throat surgery or getting the world's biggest HPV wart removed.
His future is up in the air thanks to another injury. He should really just retire and focus his efforts on something he is good at; nailing skanks and embarrassing his kids.
It's been a tough few years for Tiger. I'd feel bad for him if I was a billionaire who married a girl and cheated on her when I shoulda stayed single forever and sodomized porn stars until I died of natural causes in my 90's. But alas I am not. So yeah, Fuck that guy.
Halle is getting married to a French dude, I guess she accepted the inevitable and married a guy from a place where it is cool to step out on your spouse.
Halle Berry is one of those women men pine for but who always seems to get dumped. This leads me to believe she's both crazy and a terrible person OR she's just an actress and that's all a given.