Love, Dad: Two Brothers Hop Juice Festival REDUX

Most of the people who visited SYFFAL.com for the brew festival critique have never read SYFFAL.com. Most of those people probably have no clue how people could read someone else's vulgarity-laden jibberish when it comes to something. I'm sure if I was looking for something to read about something I attended and I wasn't used to colorful and potentially illegal language, I would miss the point completely as well.

So out of respect for the people who've stopped by and either pewped on my curse-word marinated missive or agree with many of the topics I addressed regarding the Two Brothers event last weekend, I've decided to eat my words and give my original opinions in simple statements completely void of the word "Fuck" that I love typing so much, but am unable to say out loud at home.

Here is the original rant: CLICK HERE 

Two Brothers Disclaimer: I love many of your beers. The following list is written out of disappointment, not spite.

Please fix your festival.

PORTO-POTTIES: - Spreading them out improves the festival by cutting down on the amount of traffic where people are trying to sit and watch the band, and allows people who are leaving the chance to use the facilities one more time instead of a person's tree in their front yard.

FOOD/BEER/TICKETS: - Encourage tents that provide the same/simiar services, to communicate with each other, and more importantly, the people they are attempting to serve.

- Educate the people working these tents about what they are serving.

SIGNAGE: - Allowing people to make decisions outside of at the cash register is helpful for everyone involved.

LINES: - Utilize ropes to show where a line starts, ends and to keep people who are in the beer line, out of the ticket line, etc.

BEER TAPPERS: - If something is spitting all head, discourage servers from letting it settle and warm up considerably. It might be easier to oblige people, but Two Brothers beers are an experience, not merely a thirst quencher.

CREDIT CARD MACHINES DOWN/FRYERS BROKEN: - Inform those in line as soon as you can.

TICKETS: - Unless it is required by law, consider one ticket with one price and vendor items costing single or multiple tickets. This makes things less confusing for all parties.

SINKS: - Water is awesome in them.

PARKING: - Consider hitting up the neighbors and asking them if they want to charge people 5 bucks to park in their driveways. I would've loved to park out of the street where some people's vehicles were vandalized. And hey, 5 bucks is 5 bucks.

Good things: Your Hop Juice is FARKING delicious. Like seriously, in those small glasses, they tasted like FARKING pornographic heaven in a sweaty clear glass. I will buy as much Hop Juice as I can when I get to a store that has it, it is that FARKING delicious.

Hop Juice is the equivalent of riding in a convertible with a topless chick with natural BREASTS but on your tongue.

I am not wearing any thunderwear.