Our Interview with Hello.L.A.'s Bertrand Blachard

Music is about more than musicians. For instance Syffal plays some shitty role as a tastemaker to the surly and hairy and medicated segment who finds themselves lonely and in elastic-waisted pants. There are countless booking agents, and managers, and PR peeps, and roadies, and merch guys, and photographers, and stylists. We are all vampires in our own way. But not Bertrand Blanchard!

Bertrand is an artiste and the sole proprietor of this particular pet project he's pegged as, Hello.L.A.

He is the best thing the independent music industry could ask for.

Because he makes us all look cool.

One of the things that Bertrand creates are prints inspired by the music spilling out of his iPod. All that matters is if the artist says it's ok. The great part for us music connoisseurs is that the only artists still connected enough to real life to answer him are our indie heroes. Heroes like Fake Four, Inc., and the Hellfyre Club.

He even made one for us here at Le Syffal. And for that we are extremely tickled. Like tickled to the point where there is violence. But we're all still laughing. And then we all sigh that high-pitched sigh when you're all done laughing but you still like each other. Then we make out.

OUR INTERVIEW WITH BERTRAND BLANCHARD OF HELLO.L.A. STARTS NOW!

Syffal: Bertrand, tell the readers who you are and explain the meaning of life using only the lyrics to Champs-elysées.

Blanchard: "Nothing is special." - Justin at I Had An Accident Records.

I’m French. I was born on January 19, 1984. I live in a small town called Clermont-FD, in the middle of nowhere. I used to study history at the university, sport’s history, haha for real. And now I draw, paint and print music posters via Hello.L.A. I also try to release some digital records. Long story. I read books, watch soccer on TV, play video games, drink beer.

Me singing: “Je m’baladais sur l’avenue / Le coeur ouvert à…”

Shut up! I don’t know a lot of things about the Champs-Elysées… there are tons of shops, it looks like a very long mall without any roof, and one of my best friend works in a theater near from there. That’s all, I guess.

Syffal: So it’s like any shit street from Bourbon to Hollywood, then? Good to hear. Saves me a LOT of money.

I noticed it looked like you are involved in some local shows. Do you coordinate them? You booked dudes like Syffal faves, Cars and Trains and Otem Rellik. Was that by chance or did you guys collaborate to make that happen?

Bertrand: Oh no, I don’t coordinate shows. I’ve only done some concert posters for them because I like them. A lot of inspiration. It such an honor to work on something for these kind of artists. But if some of you guys want to play here in Clermont-FD, France, I can try to help in a way. We need you. Spread the word.

Syffal: If I needed a baguette stat, which quaint Paris bakery do you take my hand and run me to? What about to get those long skinny cigarettes? What about to beat up a mime or tickle the ghost of Henri Toulousse-Latrec? What is it about France that it lives in my mind as one bohemian Parisian wet dream? Is it that I’ve never actually been/When can I crash on your couch, man?

Bertrand: Wow, I don’t live in Paris, I only smoke regular cigarettes and I don’t know nothing about art in general so I can not help you, sorry, bro. But you can come whenever you want, you’re welcome. I’m waiting for you.

Syffal: I’m originally from New Orleans. Any idea what the fucking Old Orleans is like? Remember I’m one of those stupid people that pronounce the city of Nice, like the accommodating personality trait. It’s all just cave paintings and capri pants to me, bro.

Bertrand: Orléans? I never went there. It’s in the middle of nowhere. And nothing is special in the middle of nowhere.

Syffal: So where can we send back the Statue of Liberty since it don’t seem to mean shit anymore?

Bertrand: Haha, send it back:

Attn: Bertrand Blanchard
15 Bis Place Renoux
63000 Clermont-FD
France

We’ll make it implode, with love.

Syffal: Your company is called Hello.L.A. Is that a reference to LA as in Los Angeles? I’m here in the city bro and I don’t see you. Come back. Save us. Freedom fries on me.

Bertrand: I do not exist and I won’t save you.

I mean…I’m still trying to save myself, it’s a full-time job.

Hum, why Hello.L.A… hard to explain…

First, when I woke up I used to say hello NY or hello LA. Hello NY sounds weird that’s why I chose hello LA. It sounds a bit like Hello Kitty… and I draw and paint about the end of the world and about my own fake death. Funny as hell.

It also comes from one of the best person I’ve ever met, Lola (L.O.L.A.). I wish her well, she deserves it. She saved me from hell, she knows why. Thank you.

You also have to read it as « Hell or LA », I just put the « R » in the air. Sometimes I’m in hell and sometimes I’m in LA. Just like everybody else.

Well, it both means everything and nothing for me.

Actually I really don’t care about the name of this project and it sucks in a way. It’s more a kind of « no-name / no-logo » project. Just a way to do and to create something. This is just an excuse.

Syffal: I can recommend a quality therapist brother, because I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. Is there a 4th of July in France? And why do you call it Bastille Day? That band sucks, bro.

Bertrand: Yeah, 14th of July. It comes from the French Revolution… but yo, I’m not into history anymore and I won’t teach you anything. You’d better read books and do some research. And I don’t know the band as well, but I trust you. You’re god-like, you know. That band sucks for sure, bro.

Syffal: I’m gonna send you my girlfriend for some training. Where did you acquire your taste in American indie music? Does that extend to French artists making music between odd jobs and bad haircuts? Who’s the French Ceschi?

Bertrand: In a small town based in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes life is boring, people are boring, so your put your headphones and listen to something. Nothing is special.

I don’t listen to French music as well… but maybe I could be the French Ceschi, I’ll just have to cut off one of my fingers, right? He was one of the first artist to answer me when I was asking, Hey can I try to create a poster for you? I’m a big fan. He’s very talented. Fake Four, Inc. too. Much respect.

Syffal: At least you didn’t cut off your ear like that bitch ass Dane. As if being an artist isn’t already a money-suck, why start your own label? Who’ve you worked with so far and where can we cop the tracks?

Bertrand: Oh, it’s not a real record label, I only release digital stuff. I started 3 months ago and worked with really good people like Morbidly-O-Beats, V8 and Marjen. I’m also planning something with some of Syffal’s guys (Alaska, Bloodmoney) and maybe more… You can visit my website to cop the tracks: www.hellola-hellola.com or my bandcamp: thisishellola.bandcamp.com.

It’s all free, but we appreciate any donation. We all want to make some money. Business as usual.

Syffal: You’ve also featured some art inspired by musicians. How have you chosen which artists to showcase?

Bertrand: Ceschi, Son Lux, Moodie Black, Serengeti, Grayskul, No Bird Sing, Kristoff Krane… They all come from iTunes, haha. Well, it’s very simple, I’m listening to something and I’m like…wait, I’d like to create a poster for this guy…Then I ask him and if he says yes, do it, bam, I do it.

Nothing is special.

Syffal: Except you, bro. Except you. And me. And turkey bacon.

I personally own one of your pieces. A “fake” cover of Orwell’s 1984. My girl also picked up one. It’s a “fake” cover of Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle. Do you just come to my house and look on my bookshelf when deciding which books’ covers to fake?

Bertrand: You know, it’s 1984.

Syffal: Best interview answer ever. Thanks for taking the time Sir Blanchard. We love you.

Please stop by Hello.L.A.'s site and pick up some of his quality prints or download music, and never hesitate to give Bertrand a shout. He's a real person and will write back real responses. And snails.