Our Interview with Qwazaar: Qwazy Qwastions with Qwazaar

Qwazaar. The name means "huge balls with no gravity" in European Sanskrit.

Granted, many of us, me included, have never seen these gravitationally independent orbs of gonad up close. But what many of us, me included, fail to realize is that girth and flavor of testicle is directly connected to the amount of rap prowess one possesses. The prowess possessed by a one Qwazaar Brown, is possessively prowestical says the blind man, and he is easily in my list of top ten emcees tattooed on my lower abdomen. I use the word abdomen because I'm a pretty sensual guy.

Qwazaar contains 75% more testicle than your average rapper and is 783% better at melting faces than your favorite rapper. People the world over recognize his trademark voice, and his talents with his mouth have literally zero homosexual connotations attached.

Member of Chicago's Typical Cats and Outerlimitz on Galapagos4, and the dirty as fucking hell Dirty Digital on LeftHouse, Qwazaar is one of the hardest working people I know to have deserted Chicago because they grew a vagina due to our brutal winters and awesome construction.

Read on as I treat Qwazaar like a rock star, and then insinuate he owes me money.

I love this man. Maaad homo.

SYFFAL: Qwazaar, you recently took a trip to South Africa to rap raps for people who enjoy people named Qwazaar rapping these raps. If you had to sum up the trip in one sentence, starting and ending with the word "Freal", how would you do so?

Qwazaar: Freal, Joe...contrary to popular perception, fools are not running around in diapers made out of fig leaves & tossing javelins so I was dressed a bit inappropriately...but the experience was off the chain regardless ...freal.

SYFFAL: How did you arrange for such a foreign trip doing something so foreign? Was this a Galapagos4 arranged tripper? Be honest, how fast would Robust want to go home?

Qwazaar: I was hit up over a year ago by 2 different booking agencies to get this trip to happen, but they both fell through at the time. They hit back again a few months ago & we all combined forces to get it to go through this rip w/ a lot of help from my Homie Mingus w/ Kool out live pushing to make it happen. He & his KOL crew along with the homie Rowan really looked us out. We'd never see Robust again...for multiple undisclosed reasons.

SYFFAL: What did you have to do to prepare for the trip besides practicing your African, swallowing balloons filled with illegal substances, and then preparing these raps you rap?

Qwazaar: Good ol' fashioned American Chronic masturbation and a brief therapy session w/ Epic Beard Man

SYFFAL: Were there issues with digestion while abroad? Every time I leave the country my anus hates me for at least a month thereafter.

Qwazaar: No anal leakage my way. sorry, I know how much that excites you.

SYFFAL: How many womenfolk did you bring home to start your harem?

Qwazaar: Only 1. I didn't have enough camels to pay off Customs.

SYFFAL: When you're writing one of your awesome raps, do you ever try swag yourself to keep up with current trends or to try and be trendy? If you could create a trend word associated with your brand of viciously powerful rap raps, what would it be? And would you attempt to trend yourself on Twitters?

Qwazaar: I don't smoke Swag, though occasionally I do Swazi & Bullhorn to get my flocka pow pow on. Trend-word? umm... ElectroMagneticAntiGravitationalEjaculatoryAllegory

SYFFAL: I think I remember a few years ago you moving out to Cali. What was that all about? And how soon did you hightail it back to the Chi?

Qwazaar: Still in Cali. Pow pow.

SYFFAL: What is the current status of each of the following groups?

• Typical Cats :: Active, Mini So Cal tour coming up. Recording.
  
• Outerlimitz :: Active, He.llsent is coming out to Cali to start recording for new OL
  
• Dirty Digital :: Active, Dirty Digi is Still the beast. Digi Tape B still in process. Silence has been acting in movies and doing film scores.
  
• REO Speedwagon :: Ask Robust
  
• Stryper :: Ask Adad

SYFFAL: What is it with you and starting and then bailing on all of these super groups?

Qwazaar: No Bailouts. it's always difficult to get shit done when it's more than 2 people collaborating on something. But I'm preparing for my last Super-Emcee campaign which will be my most musically productive 2 year stretch coming. the "Style Be The King" EP with producer Batsauce is set to drop at the end of May in collab w/ Fifth Element (RSE Store) & G4. the "Bat Meets Blaine" Album is due to drop September 20th on G4. We have about 9 songs recorded for the "Russian Roulette" project that features OuterLimitz, Fine Artz, Novacain, Adad, 5ifth Element & Zoser' at this point..should be hearing singles from that soon. Typical Cats recording sessions are in progress...and OL will be as well soon. It's all coming. Promise.

SYFFAL: So Outerlimitz. Suicide Prevention is one of my favorite albums out of Chicago in the past ten years. Seeing as how you're approaching 40 years old, do you think there will ever be a follow up to SP or will your incessant need to eat healthy, pump your body full of vitamins and essentially not die get in the way of a reunion?

Qwazaar: I'm actually approaching 60. Good sex and thick strips of bacon are the key ingredients to a long luxurious life. and there's no reunion to speak of... we never de-unioned.

SYFFAL: Being one of the oldest living rappers out of Chicago, you're lumped into the same category as Sharkula and Ronnie Woo Woo. What are you doing to combat neglect to our city's elderly, yourself included?

Qwazaar: Cleaning Chitlins

SYFFAL: Ramadan is one of my favorite Muslim holidays because friend Artan doesn't eat or drink or smile for 40 days. During this time I normally steal things from him and eat delicious foods in his car so it smells when he gets back in it. What tortuous things would you do to your Muslim friends if you had Muslim friends who could take a joke?

Qwazaar: I'd go on Face Book and tag them in photos of me sitting Indian style on a prayer rug holding a plate of chitlins and a bottle of Louisiana red dot hot sauce.

SYFFAL: I was recently pulled over for driving the wrong way down a one way street, but I was let go with a smile because I had up to date insurance, I'm an organ donor, and I'm white. How pissed off are you about the stereotype of black drivers in that they do too much while behind the wheel? I once saw a black guy on 290 making a waffle, playing UNO with his kid in the back seat, smoking a Swisher and talking on a bag phone. This problem is rampant in the black community. What do you plan on doing about it Qwa?

Qwazaar: Offer him Garcia Vega's instead.

SYFFAL: Your partner in Dirty Digital goes by Silence. I know him as Emmet, or Hair Club President as he was called in 1999 when I worked with him at the CBOT. When did that guy lose the weight and is it true that he lost it using a low carb diet consisting only of shellfish, tofu empanadas, snacks made of his own white-guy-dreadlocks and oxy hotdogs? Please create an equally ridiculous rumor about him and help me spread it using the power of the internet.

Qwazaar: Silence was actually forced to cut weight due to a contract he signed as a part of a Gay independent wrestling circuit. I believe he wrestled under the name CowBoy Shark. Winning.

SYFFAL: What is next for the Qwazaar now that the awesome international tour has ended and no one remembers you and you're a nobody again? Will you fade into obscurity and continue learning the ways of the gun with the rest of your Boy Scout Troop? Will you return to the Chicago Public School system as a gym teacher? Will your shorts be even shorter?

Qwazaar: My shorts WILL be shorter ironically to pay homage to my ex Gym Teacher Mr. Mandel who had his face ripped off by Baboons. I won't be able to fade into obscurity for awhile though.. tours coming up and albums dropping will see to that.

SYFFAL: What are you listening to now that the rest of us should take note of? Anything new or old that's striking your fancy ass fancy?

Qwazaar: I only bump Bruno Mars & He.llsent. in that order. always.

SYFFAL: I love you Qwa. Never change. Unless it means becoming a better bocce ball tosser, cause you fucking suck my friend.

Qwazaar: I'm changing as we speak...and you're reaping all the rewards.

For all things Qwazaar visit his facebook page