I've known and admired Adeem for nearly a decade, and in that time I've had the pleasure of performing alongside him, traveling with him, getting things off the counter for him, wiping his pasty backside, admiring his talent with his mouths and utilizing the fact that he doesn't drink alcohol to my advantage. There's no question the guy is fucking genuine, but what gets him in trouble is his never ending quest to obtain height.
There was the medieval stretching method, the human growth hormone injections, the acupuncture, the hanging from his ankles phase and we all remember his stint with shoe heightening via lifts.
Adeem is on a mission to grow, not only as an amazing lyricist and performer, but to get over that hump and ride a fucking roller coaster one day.
I love him as much as I've ever loved another small human being. I consider him a close friend. I cuddle with him as much as i can.
Won't you give the little man a squeeze and read about his latest musical efforts?
SYFFAL: First off, you got marry, had a childrens and now seem to be working steadily as a line cook for the Chipotle burrito chain. Congrats on that employbean of the month in August, that must feel pretty special.
Adeem: I think you're confusing the present me with the past you. So I would say belated congratulations to you.
SYFFAL: From what the internet tells me, you have a new record about to be released. Would you care to describe for the nice people in a poem your thoughts on preventative care for the human colon?
Adeem: New albums are as bright as a sun filled cave,
A last chance for those that are brave,
this is the one where my career is saved,
eat lots of fiber and you'll be on your way. That was off the top.
SYFFAL: This new record you've been working on, the internet told me it's a concept album. Coming from New Hampshire, when is the ideal time to breed cattle? Are you afraid of people taller than you, or in simpler terms, are you afraid of everyone being that you're only 2' 7"?
Adeem: The internet wasn't lying. The album is called "The Volume in the Ground" and it is a concept album. I was trying to make something that was cohesive from beginning to end. I was also trying to replicate an analog sound without the album being analog. I had to use producers from all over the country so sending files online was a necessity. Keeping that in mind i did my best during mix down and also asked the producers to keep the sound in mind i was going for. Dusty sounding instruments. No synths. When all the producers followed those requests then we came out with a very conceptual album sound-wise. I'm lucky to have worked with such talented producers. MF Shalem, Chadeo, Nobs, and Maker. Also, It's always a good time to breed cattle. I prefer to breed tofu cattle. Better for you and they don't smell as bad. In reference to that last question...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0XrbEwNc&has_verified=1
SYFFAL: I made up this rumor just now that Glue broke up over a dispute over table salt. Is it true that Maker survives on only Parliament Lights and bubble tea?
Adeem: Glue decided to take a break because djdq was using more salt than his doctor recommended. Maker was always upset when he would see him adding salt to corn chips or to his burritos. When it started affecting our shows and our time in the studio i had to put a stop to it. I tried to run a tight ship with Glue, but sometimes when salt gets involved there's chaos. I hope our supporters and business contacts understand that. In good news Maker and dq have worked things out by agreeing that when we all eat together Maker will close his eyes when dq salts his food. It's a compromise, but it works. The rumor about the smokes and bubble tea are fabricated. It's coffee and bubble tea. Not coffee flavored bubble tea. fucking paparazzi.
SYFFAL: DJ DQ was always one of my favorite people. He never talked back. He never started shit. Matter of fact he would never speak, so I had to order his food for him most of the time. If you were DJ DQ and we were at KFC, what would you wear?
Adeem: A double down turtleneck and mcrib cut offs. djdq is god and if he ain't god then he should be.
SYFFAL: So you're new album that's coming out that is a concept album and isn't about equal rights for dwarves, will it appeal to your usual audience? Let me clarify, will people who listen to hip hop mainly because they don't actually know or have ever met a black person, will those people like this new record? Why are you making that face of determined scorn?
Adeem: It is a concept record and i think that white people will hate this record. You could actually call it a hate record about hating records that white people hate. It's all seriousness what i just said before was said in all seriousness. I can't know how the public react, but I hope i get the chance to find out.
SYFFAL: What is the funniest story about your glasses fogging up on stage?
Adeem: They've never fogged up on stage, but they got smashed while crowd surfing in Denver. Glue was doing an encore to a pretty rowdy crowd and we decided to do "Vessel". You might remember that song from making it legit with a satanesque solo at the end. I was knocking into people and they were knocking into me. I was screaming in their face and they were screaming into mine. It was incredible. When we were done i jumped back on stage and went back to the green room. While i was laying on the floor trying to catch my breath i noticed that everything was blurry. First thought was that i got a concussion, but then i realized that my glasses were gone. I had to go back on stage and ask the crowd to help me find my glasses. Someone found them on the floor in a million pieces. Unfortunately we had to leave at 7am to drive to salt lake that next day. So i got to see the beautiful scenery from Denver to Salt Lake blurry as Fuck. We ended up finding a lens crafters and they hooked me up for free because they happen to be fans. true story.
SYFFAL: I remember laying in my bed while living at my grandma's just after she passed (RIP RUTH! YOU WERE THE BEST!) and watching Last Call with Carson Daly and seeing you on television in a rappers rapping battle royale with cheese seriously ripping people's assholes with your mouthhole. You are fucking talent incarnate, are you pissed you weren't born black or phillipino? Pretty sure you'd be more successful had you some pigment.
Adeem: Wait what are you trying to say? What do you mean if i was born with pigment? FYI: Big pussy from the sopranos told me i was the best rapper he'd ever heard that night and Carson Daly put his hand on my shoulder told me "You're raw dog" and i told him to never touch me again.
SYFFAL: The one thing that I admire about you most is that you aren't afraid to be yourself no matter what the situation. Whether you're debating the palette of your least favorite sommelier, complaining about the state of health care in Canada or squeegeeing those fucking piano key lookin' teeth of yours, you are always a class fucking act. You're like the brother I never knew I had cause I didn't see you standing there cause you're so white and short that I just thought you were a plastic grocery bag flowing in the wind. Which brings me to my final question: What is the best fucking thing about being a new parent? (Words you can't use are: smile, baby, daughter, girl, little, face, cheeks, awesome and chorizo)
Adeem: Thank you? I am I be. The best thing about being a parent is using your child as an excuse to finish weird interviews like this. PEACE.
SYFFAL: I love everything about you Adam, with the exception of you forgetting about me for years at a time.
Adeem: Never happened. I remember all of it and you are part of all…of…it.