Chaz Kangas' Youtube Youterin Younicorn - Loneliness? Psh! (A PSA)

Well dear readers, it's the first week of September and that means it's "back to school," or should I say "back to COOL?!" I probably shouldn't say that. Speaking as someone who landed a teaching gig immediately out of college, this fall is my first autumn in 19 years that hasn't had the foreboding shadow of "SCHOOL IS BACK" looming over it. Regardless, I'm still finding the various back-to-school displays at fine and not-so-fine department stores everywhere just as soul-crushingly depressing. I love all things summer: intense heat, soft-shell crab sandwiches, butterscotch malts, theme parks etc. September means all these things die and you have to spend your days not watching 'Kids in the Hall' re-runs, but sitting at a desk while your inept Algebra 2 and Honor's English 9 teachers waste your days away with their wretched meandering. Let me just add that I was named 'Teacher of the Year' last year, and can now totally critique my previous horrible teachers for how truly bad at their job that they were. Also, let me do what they never did and teach you something...with the help of the Totally For Kids Detective Agency!

For those who didn't grow up with the Fox Kids Network (and instead settled for the soft-batch Disney Afternoon like a bunch of squares), Fox had hit a stride in the mid-90s with programs that dealt with really issues that didn't speak down to kids and made sure we also got our dose of fun wholesome violence. From 'X-Men' to 'Power Rangers' to 'Batman: the Animated Series' to 'Bobby's World' to 'Life with Louie,' there was a lot of great programming, interspersed with little nuggets like these that told us how to overcome common childhood problems like 'loneliness.' I love how this clip just bleeds of the time it was made. From the Casio "record scratching 1" sound to the Spike Lee-Lite Specter guiding the kid, it's a perfect storm of sign-of-the-times. It also has a timeless message: "If you're lonely, go make some friends, asshole!"