Bandcamp Artist of the Week: Invalids

This week's Bandcamp Artist of the Week is a perfect example of a new reality of internet life: the band who kicks serious ass but has never met in person. Much like the hip hop version of such a relationship, Foreign Exchange, the band Invalids is a pair of dudes who kick ass, but don't have to worry about wearing pants while they hang out in their cyber rehearsal space bruh.

I'd like to think that Invalids is kind of like me and Tim's relationship in that we trust each other implicitly, we send each other pictures of our bowel movements, we video chat quite often and spend the first five minutes making faces at each other, we can go weeks at a time without talking about anything other than work (syffal) and pick right up where we left off, but we've never actually embraced outside of World of Warcraft and that one day when we both played the Sims and were both black guys with awesome suits on.

Invalids though, I wasn't turned on to them because of their internet romance, I actually got turned on to them through a recommendation from Tom and then a fifteen click internet excursion that took me from their bandcamp page, to a few youtube videos watching Pete play guitar, back to their bandcamp page, and then on to youporn where I watched two chicks share four dicks. Just before I muted the computer to watch these bitches take the dillz, I was wowed with both their musicality and strange approach to rhythm. Then because of the complexity of the music, I became fascinated with just how these assfaces pulled off such intricacies when they can't practice certain riffs in the same room.

Invalids is a beautifully strange combination of sounds that channels the fret tapping insanity of Maps & Atlases, with the 90's vocal punkishness of say, Blink 182, but with the out of fucking control start/stop/start/stop rhythms of the Mars Volta, but 38% more focused than an Omar Rodriguez-Lopez album. I've been both amazed and annoyed with Invalids, as just when I think I've got my brain wrapped around the time signature, these Fuckdicks fucking change things into a completely different direction using a completely different location for the 1 in any given measure.

It's like trying to explain to your teenager self how income taxes work. It's fucking impossible to pinpoint the exact point of confusion, or why some people make a career out of the muddled convoluted bullshit, but regardless of why, Invalids kick ass while income tax can suck a shit out of my shitbox.

Fascination aside, I respect the jolly ranchers out of these dudes' Zimas and I expect great things to come of this relationship.

But I think what I'm most jacked about is the idea that these Invalids guys might go on the world's first virtual US tour, where they have some dude dial in to an IP address and from there they control their instruments that are broadcast live via Skype session, and then tap into the electrical grid of said city and create large images of penises using the city skyline, and they film that via blimp and then stream that shit live in the bar and shit.

DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND'S MIND?

Invalids, let them blow you.

You mind foo! GET YOUR BRAIN OUTTA THE shitTER.