After a special and well-deserved tribute to MCA, One Song is back to it's normal pre-planned theme schedule. A schedule containing a list that we don't normally divert from. A laminated list that we keep hidden in a lock box buried beneath Del's sex swing. A voice activated lock box that only opens upon hearing Del's 'safe' word: DON'T STOP. And a sex swing that has never been used (ten years after it's purchase). This week the list says that our One Song theme is: Animated Videos.
Joel deserves a medal. He wrote a whole piece without mentioning his balls. Bravo!
I pick a video that narrowly edged out Paula Abdul's masterpiece: Opposites Attract.
Brandon is drunk again and having homosexual fantasies about Tim Burton.
Tim wishes that his last name were Burton.
Hard Dick show us his softer side.
Del didn't give this much thought. He is busy working on pick up lines.
Pete thinks back to the time when he'd spend hours building World of War Craft villages with Legos. *He only had to think back to last week.
.....without further adieu
I remember a few months after this was released an employee of mine said "Dude you gotta see this video and hear this song" and then he showed me this. I slapped him. "Don't you fucking know I'm internet friends with Blockhead?" to which he scoffed and stormed off into the west wing of my factory where we make widgets. Everyone I know agrees, this song is way more interesting when you imagine the video, and the video is way better on mute. BURN BRO! I'm kidding. I fucking love this.
I had to choose Paranoid Android for my favorite animated video although I'm a little paranoid somebody else might also choose it. This epic track seems like it'd be obvious choice for the theme, but I couldn't pass it up. Paranoid Android is one of my top 5 favorite songs of all time. This oddly appealing video features a character that looks like Joel wearing a skull cap and some animated titty grabbing. What else could you ask for?
Brandon Backhaus of Syffal.com calls this video, "Twisted, subliminal, and infectious." He also feels like referring to himself in the thurd purson and might be drunk email this submission. If he's not, this video makes him wish he was. Angry, haunting, and kind of melancholy, Viva Death's "Bullets Under Mind Control" makes him want to rub his cement-colored tool on Tim Burton's black and white striped, lower back.
Ghostface Killah is one of my favorite rappers ever and this is the video that made me fall in love with him. Like everyone else my age and into hip hop, I was already enamoured with these fucking assholes, and then they went and did this. Dropping Daytona 500, which is over a sample from Bob James' Nautilus which may or may not be the greatest sample ever, they also jacked animation from Speed Racer, made that shit seem way less J-Pop and killed shit.
You really cannot beat the pairing of Bjork with the animation of John Kricfalusi (of Ren & Stimpy fame) when it comes to overall entertaining ability. Both artists have aged like fine wine and compliment one another perfectly. I wish I could use such descriptive terminology on significantly more classy material, but hey, this is the internet after all. Trying to be funny when Bjork is wailing her brains out and has rubber nipple domes just seems to be in poor taste.
Everyone who fell for Kavinsky's track from Drive should back it up and revisit this badass video from 2006. Yep Kavinsky has been rocking his euro zombie DJ driver persona for quite some time. If you're not familiar with what I'm talking about it's cool, this video acts an an origin story. It's part Turbo Teen part Batman Year One. The motion graphics formula utilized in this video should be laughed at because of the limited range of motion...but Kavinsky's pounding beats makes it feel like it's moving in hyper-speed.
It was a battle between my childhood representing from the 80's A-Ha's "Take On Me" and Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer", both 50/50 animation reality videos and The White Stripes' "Fell In Love With A Girl." It came down to two things: 1) I love legos 2) This song displays how ridiculously amazing of a guitar player Jack White is, and although his new stuff is good, nothing will be The White Stripes. They came in like a bat out of hell and destroyed the competition around them. Stop Motion for the win!